Al Quote #455

Quote from Al in Dead Weight

Al: I'm taking Mother out to dinner to break the news to her first.
Jill: Oh! Well, that's a way to go.
Tim: And let me guess where you're taking her. Sven's All-You-Can-Eat Smorgasbord.
Al: No. As luck would have it... You know, they went bankrupt shortly after our last visit?
Tim: You know, I do remember seeing a white flag in their window, yeah.

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 ‘Dead Weight’ Quotes

Quote from Al

Al: I was just thinking about my mother, all the great times we used to have. When I was a kid, she used to take us to the park. We'd fly kites, she'd push us on the swing. We'd spend hours on the teeter-totter.
Tim: I used to love the teeter-totter. Up and down. Up and down.
Al: Down?
Tim: Well, they play it differently in different parts of the country.

Quote from Al

Al: My mother was a great woman. She was my friend, my supporter, my teacher. And Tim's right. She said that there's nothing greater than sharing your love with someone else. And, well, there was something I was going to do the other night. And I don't think there's any reason for putting it off. Trudy, will you marry me? [off her reaction] Perhaps I've put you on the spot?
Trudy: Of course I'll marry you, Al. [applause]
Wilson: Al and Trudy, this is indeed a joyous occasion. Now, let us proceed to the grave site. Will the following pallbearers please take their places? Al, Cal, Tim, Brad, Mark, Marty, Benny, Patrick, Colin, Francis, Chris, William, Brian, Jake, Carson, Ted, Alonzo...

 Al Borland Quotes

Quote from Dead Weight

Al: I was just thinking about my mother, all the great times we used to have. When I was a kid, she used to take us to the park. We'd fly kites, she'd push us on the swing. We'd spend hours on the teeter-totter.
Tim: I used to love the teeter-totter. Up and down. Up and down.
Al: Down?
Tim: Well, they play it differently in different parts of the country.

Quote from This Joke's for You

Al: What, your little bell will send 5,000 volts coursing through my body? [chuckles] While he stands back and yells, "Remember the Al-amo!"
Tim: I just want you to press the bell.
Al: I know... It's just a setup, isn't it? It's one big setup.
Tim: It is not a setup!
Al: Soon you'll start in with the uncalled-for slams against my mother...
Tim: Al.
Al: How she always shops in the husky section. How she wiped out the all-you-can-eat salad bar.
Tim: Al, I simply came out here to put this thing together.
Al: Well, go ahead. Just say it. My mother is a big fat cow!
Tim: Goodness gracious, Al. We'll be right back after these messages from Binford Tools.