Tim Quote #3464
Tim: But your neighbor has to look at this ugly thing though, huh?
Al: Maybe Wilson could plant some decorative ivy. Mother's always been partial to vines.
Tim: That's because she swings from them!
Quote from Jill
Jill: If you're so worried about this, why don't you just go outside and talk to Wilson?
Tim: I tried to talk to him at work and he just ran off the set.
Jill: Well, you know, it's Wilson's property. Ultimately, if he wants to build this thing, I don't think there's much you can do about it.
Tim: Oh, really? I tell you one thing, when I jumpstart this brain, I can do anything.
Jill: So 100 years from now, Wilson's got trouble.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Did you know that hockey originated with the Iroquois Indians? Their original term for the game was "hoghee."
Tim: The Iroquois, huh? What did they use for a puck? Buffalo chips?
Wilson: [chuckles] No. In the Iroquois version, they used actual human skulls.
Quote from At Sea
Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".
Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind
Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.