Tim Quote #3404
Quote from Tim in Young at Heart
Jill: It's a ticket that you got while joy-riding with your quote "mechanic."
Tim: This is ridiculous. It was a slow yellow. The brakes are bad. How can I get a ticket for this?
Jill: Will you forget about the ticket? Who is the woman? And why is your hand on her breast?
Tim: This is my mechanic, Alex. My hand is not on her breast. It's guarding it.
Jill: What?
Antonio: And may I say what a fine job it's doing.
More Home Improvement Quotes
‘Young at Heart’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Tim: Welcome to our Tool Time salute...
Al: to the last manly sport. [cow moos]
Both: Rodeo.
Tim: I mean, what's more manly than eating your steak after you finish riding it?
Al: That's right. These cowboys are a dying breed. Rugged individuals who pay no mind to their overbearing mothers that won't let them live their own life. Maybe it's out on the range, maybe not, but let them live their own lives!
Tim: Al.
Al: Well, moseying right along...
Tim: "Moseying along"?
Quote from Jill
Jill: This new French restaurant opening up in Royal Oak. Maybe your father and I should go there for our anniversary.
Brad: How come you're not gonna go to your favorite place? The one where that waiter always insults him.
Jill: Brad, it's our anniversary. I'm getting a new waiter to insult your dad.
Mark: Never stop giving.
Jill: No. Plus, I hate that guy at Sorrentino's. Antonio. He's really rude. And he sounds like Dracula. "Good evening."
Tim Taylor Quotes
Quote from At Sea
Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".
Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind
Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.