Brad: Yeah, I know. But, Wilson, I mean, soccer's always been part of my life. You know, it's, like, who I am. If you go to my school, you can ask anybody. I'm Brad the soccer dude.
Wilson: But you can also be Brad the nuclear-physicist dude. Or Brad the animal-husbandry dude.
Brad: Yeah. But I don't know anything about physics. And I really don't want to know what it's like to be an animal's husband.

Wilson: You know, Brad, you remind me of an Iban tribesman.
Brad: Yeah. I get that all the time.
Wilson: You see, the Iban live in Borneo. And they believe that evil spirits are the cause of all their misfortunes. So, every night they dance and they put on these strange wooden masks to drive the evil spirits away.
Brad: So, what does that have to do with me?
Wilson: Well, like the Iban, we'd all like to believe that outside forces are the cause of all of our problems. It gives rationality to our universe. But the truth is, sometimes accidents just happen.
Brad: So, you're saying that it's not my dad's fault that I tripped. And it was more or less bad luck?
Wilson: Yeah, I suppose so. I think the thing to do is just hope for the best and be open to exploring new paths. You know, the British author, J.M. Barrie said, "A man's life is like a diary in which he means to write one story, but ends up writing another."

Tim: Say, did you guys catch Tool Time today?
Jill: Yeah. I actually did.
Tim: You watched Tool Time?
Jill: Yeah. Yeah. I was trying to avoid writing my essay.
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: I was desperate. But, yeah, I really liked Penn & Teller. They were great.
Tim: Yeah. You know, but some of the die-hard tool fans got to me after the show and said they're missing the regular, basic Tool Times, you know? Wonder if I'm alienating my fan base?
Jill: Ah. Don't worry. He'll forgive you.