Jill: Actually, honey. I think that those guys at the mall are Santa's helpers, you know. The way that AI is Daddy's helper.
Tim: Right.
Mark: So they do all the work.
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: They assist Santa. Like AI assists me.
Mark: Oh, that makes sense.

Randy: OK, fine. Here's the truth. There used to be a Santa Claus. But he died six years ago.
Brad: Yep, you just missed out.
Mark: Santa Claus isn't dead.
Randy: Yes, he is. He had a terrible accident with one of his reindeer. Blitzen fell on him.
Mark: He's really dead?
Brad: Kicked the bucket.
Randy: Bought the dirt farm.
Brad: Six feet under.
Randy: Pushing up the daisies.
Brad: Deader than a doornail.
Randy: Stiff as a board.
Brad: Cold as ice.
Randy: Met his maker.

Jill: I guess since your dad and I are living here in the middle of all these changes, we haven't even noticed half of them.
[Tim falls off the roof with one of his decorations]
Tim: It's okay. The ground seems to have broken my fall.
Randy: Then again, some things never change.

Randy: You know, I miss my friends. I miss writing for the school paper. I miss Arnold Schwarzenegger movies in English.
Tim: How do they say "Hasta la vista, baby" in Spanish?

Brad: Wow, what an awesome lighting display.
Randy: Yeah. Those figures look so lifelike.
Marty: At least now we know why Al won.
Tim: Yeah, it's amazing what a little blood, sweat and 10 grand will do.
Jill: Maybe next year, honey.
[on the roof:]
Trudy: They're gone. Now can we get down from here?
Al: Yeah, I think so.
Trudy: Oh, no. My feet are frozen to the roof. Help me, Al.
Al: I can't. I'm stuck in the chimney.
Trudy: What are we gonna do?
Both: Help! Help! Help! Help! Over here!