Al: You know, I never thought this would happen to me. I've always lived in someone else's shadow.
Tim: Well, growing up with your mom, I'm surprised you knew there was a sun.

Wilson: You know, Tim, I can understand your concern for Al. But I'm also reminded of the Persian writer Nasir-i Khusraw. He said, "Though God creates the mother, the breast and the milk, the children must draw for themselves their mother's milk."
Tim: Wilson, you just gave me 12 horrible images.
Wilson: No, no, no, no. I'm just saying, just as the child learns self-reliance by separating from his mother, so the assistant learns by separating from the Tool Man. Maybe what Al needs is protection and support so he's not left hanging.
Tim: So I'll just buy him a sturdy jockstrap.
Wilson: Hello, horrible image number 13.

Al: I should've been happy with the career path we were working on, you know? There's no shame in making longshoremen happy.
Tim: At least not in this state.