Tim Quote #2988
Quote from Tim in Believe It or Not
[dream sequence:]
Tim: [hits head on pipe] Oh! Hold up, Jilly. I can't explain it, but I sense the presence of an alien.
Jill: Taylor, have you noticed these aliens seem to eschew well-lit, ventilated housing?
Tim: They what?
Jill: Eschew. Eschew.
Tim: Gesundheit. Right there. Right there. Right there.
Jill: What is it?
Tim: It's the alien we've been looking for all our lives.
Jill: How can we be sure it's not human?
Tim: It's too small. Notice the delicate, hairless features.
Jill: Oh, my God!
[reality:]
Tim: [yells]
Randy: [wakes up, yells]
Tim: Put a shirt on!
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Believe It or Not’ Quotes
Quote from Benny
Tim: I'm talking about extraterrestrials.
Benny: Why would a guy need more than two? [Tim and Marty laugh]
Quote from Tim
Tim: Actually, you have spent a lot of time up on the roof. You ever noticed anything odd in the sky? Unusual sights?
Al: Uh, Tim, not with the aliens again.
Tim: No, I'm talking about UFOs, spaceships, that kind of stuff.
Al: I think the audience wants to talk about roofs, not about people from outer space.
Tim: You're awfully defensive about this.
Al: There are no aliens.
Tim: How do you know?
Tony: Hey, maybe he's hiding something.
Tim: Yeah, maybe he's hiding the fact that he's an alien.
Al: I am not now nor have I ever been an alien!
Tim: Oh, yeah? What do the first two letters of "alien" spell, Al?
Tony: Ooh...
Tim: And your mother's quite large. Perhaps she's the mothership.
Quote from Tim
Tim: OK. What do we do?
Randy: Well, we're all booted up. So access the server, double-click on the browser icon, and we'll be surfing the Net.
Tim: OK. You know, 20 years ago no one would've understood that sentence, and today it's just me.