Tim Quote #2955
Quote from Tim in The Son Also Mooches
Al: All right, now that we know something about these tools, why don't we put 'em to work? This is Whiskey Pete, here. Whiskey, how about some new shoes?
Tim: Let's put her in something like an espadrille or a slingback.
Delvin Horsted: This is a horse!
Tim: Of course! Of course!
Al: Delvin, now, what would be the first thing you do when putting on new shoes?
Delvin Horsted: Well, first you take off the old shoe. You get a firm grip on the animal's hoof and pull out the nails with these pliers.
Tim: Let me give that a shot. Hold onto that hoof. I don't want that horse kicking me and turning me into a gelding.
Delvin Horsted: [yells] My thumb! That's it! That's it! Let me show you tool boys something else you can do with tongs.
Horse: We'll be right back after these words from Binford.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘The Son Also Mooches’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: If Mom believes in you, so do I.
Jeff: I appreciate that.
Tim: I'm just telling the truth, like a famous American said we should.
Jeff: What famous American?
Tim: Come on. Samuel Foghorn Leghorn.
Jeff: He was one smart chicken.
Tim: No, I'm talking about Mark Twain. The guy that wrote Huckleberry Hound.
Jeff: When you were a kid, did Mom drop you on your head?
Tim: Yeah. The same day she dunked your head in that vat of Nair.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Well, have you considered talking to your mom?
Tim: I can't talk to my mom about this.
Wilson: Why not?
Tim: Tell her that I think that her oldest son, my brother, is a loser?
Wilson: Well, Tim, if that is the case, it'll hurt her feelings, but isn't that better than seeing her savings wiped out?
Tim: So, what are you saying I should do, just lay it out, put everything on the table?
Wilson: Well, I'm reminded of the famous words, "When in doubt, tell the truth." Samuel Langhorne Clemens.
Tim: That big cartoon rooster? Well, I say, boy... Well, I say, boy...
Wilson: No, no, no, no, no, no. See, Samuel Clemens is the real name of Mark Twain, one of America's greatest thinkers.
Tim: Well, that big chicken's pretty smart. Gave that dog a run for his money. I say, boy, I say, boy, that dog is dumber than a sack of wet beans.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: You know, Tim, I can't find the drain plug to this thing. Can you give me a hand?
Tim: It's an old Studebaker. It's over on the left side. You got a lantern?
Wilson: Yep, right here.
Tim: Looks like it came off a ship. Where'd you get it? Off the Titanic?
Wilson: Yes.