Tim Quote #2949
Quote from Tim in The Write Stuff
Tim: Look, all brothers fight, OK. When I was a kid, I got in a terrible fight with Uncle Steve. I borrowed his 56 Chevy without permission.
Brad: Dad, what's your point?
Tim: I drove it into Corton Lake.
Brad: Oh man, I bet when Uncle Steve beat you up, it hurt.
Tim: He roughed me up a little bit. The point is, this fight put a big distance between us, it really hurt our relationship.
Brad: Well, Uncle Steve's a lot bigger than you. I mean he's got those huge arms.
Tim: What I'm trying to tell you is, this kind of fighting can hurt your relationship with your brother.
Brad: Well yeah, I bet Uncle Steve whooped your butt.
Tim: He didn't whoop my butt. As a matter of fact, if he were here right now, I'd whoop his butt. He's bigger and softer now. I'd grab Mr. Porkbelly by the flab and go... "Hey, man. Who's the kid now, huh?!"
Brad: Dad. Dad!
Tim: In a minute. "I tell you..."
Brad: Dad!
Tim: What?!
Home Improvement Quotes
‘The Write Stuff’ Quotes
Quote from Brad
Brad: You know what your problem is? You're jealous of me.
Randy: Oh, please, what would I possibly have to be jealous about?
Brad: That people like my article better than yours, or maybe people just like me better.
Jill: Brad.
Tim: Jill.
Brad: No, no, no. I'm more popular, I'm more athletic, and it looks like now I'm a better writer.
Randy: You are such a deluded egomaniac.
Brad: No, no, you're the one that's deluded. I mean, you think people want to read your boring, intellectual crap?
Jill: Knock it off!
Tim: Guys, guys, guys, stop! What is the problem here?
Randy: Oh, no. The problem is, Dad, is your oldest son is so stupid he should be writing an article called, Hey Duh.
Brad: Hey, I'm taller than you too!
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: You know Randy, once I was a young columnist for the Wichita Star, then I got bumped from my feature column by this hot-shot named Walter Winchell.
Randy: Walter Winchell?
Wilson: Oh, yes, the God of Gossip, The Earl of Innuendo, The Prince of Propaganda, The Duke of...
Randy: Wilson, I get it.
Wilson: No, no, no, I've got one more. The Baron of Baloney.
Randy: What were you gonna say?
Wilson: It's just I was so outraged by being upstaged by Winchell, I wanted to quit. And then suddenly, I realized, if more people buy the paper to read Winchell's column, more people are gonna read mine.
Randy: So maybe Hey Yo can do for me what Winchell did for you?
Wilson: Absolutely. As a matter of fact, because of him, the readership doubled for my column, Rock Beat.
Randy: You wrote about Rock and Roll?
Wilson: No, no, no, no, no. Rocks.
Quote from Wilson
Randy: You know, Wilson, I've worked for two years at that paper trying to produce quality journalism.
Wilson: Then Brad waltzes in and steals your thunder.
Randy: Well, it's not so much that he stole my thunder, it's just what he stole it with.
Wilson: Jock itch.
Randy: You got it.
Wilson: Randy, let me ask you something. If Brad had written a brilliant article, would you feel any differently?
Randy: I might be a bit jealous, but at least I would've respected it.
Wilson: You know, despite what anyone may think of Brad's article, it doesn't diminish the quality yours. You know, Robert Kennedy once said, "Each time a man stands up for an ideal, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope."
Randy: Wilson, I'd like to believe that, but how do I keep pouring my heart into my writing if people are more interested in who's scratching where.