Tim Quote #2897
Quote from Tim in Taking Jill for Granite
[Tim answers the door to Ian]
Tim: [grunting] [title: "What are you doing here?"]
Ian: [muttering] [title: "I came for my tools."]
Tim: [grunting] [title: "Here you go."]
Ian: [grunting] [title: "I'm sorry about what happened with your wife."]
Tim: [inquisitive grunt] [title: "What about 'my knife'?"]
Ian: [grunting] [title: "I said, 'your wife'."]
Tim: [short grunt] [title: "I'm sorry it came to this. You're a hell of a granite guy. Maybe the best there ever was."]
Ian: [grunts] [title: "Thanks. See you."]
Tim: [grunts] [title: "Jokes on him. I kept his best chisel."] [grunting laughter]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Taking Jill for Granite’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: For a minute there I thought you said you fired my granite guy.
Jill: I did. When I gave him a lift home, he came on to me.
Tim: You fired the granite guy?
Jill: Did you hear what I said? He came on to me.
Tim: Did he say you have a nice outfit or something?
Jill: He kissed me.
Tim: [stammers] What did you do?
Jill: I pushed him away.
Tim: Well, you should've fired him!
Jill: I did fire him!
Tim: You fired the granite guy?!
Quote from Heidi
Heidi: Welcome to Tool Time on location from Al's living room. Today we're gonna show you how to conserve energy. Now, a good place to start would be replacing all your old insulation. I would recommend that you-
Tim: Heidi?
Heidi: Yes?
Tim: Do tell us when the camera is rolling.
Heidi: Okay... [exits]
Quote from Tim
Jill: I feel terrible, I am really sorry.
Tim: Are you? Or maybe inside you're jumping for joy? Huh? Huh? Maybe you and Ian are just spinning a web of twisted little lies. And I am just your prawn.
Jill: Tim, a prawn is a big shrimp.
Tim: Right. You can't play chess with a crustacean.