Wilson Quote #369
Quote from Wilson in Taking Jill for Granite
Jill: Well, I was extremely human today. I even snuck a peek at this guy's... [finds Wilson bent over in his igloo] butt.
Wilson: Well, Jill, that's no big deal. If I had a nickel for every married woman at the library who checked out my butt, I could pay everybody's overdue fines.
Jill: Well, I wish that I could, you know, go ahead and be honest with him and tell him I was attracted to Ian.
Wilson: Maybe you should.
Jill: You know, when it comes to the really big stuff, Tim doesn't keep any secrets from me.
Wilson: Or me!
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Taking Jill for Granite’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: For a minute there I thought you said you fired my granite guy.
Jill: I did. When I gave him a lift home, he came on to me.
Tim: You fired the granite guy?
Jill: Did you hear what I said? He came on to me.
Tim: Did he say you have a nice outfit or something?
Jill: He kissed me.
Tim: [stammers] What did you do?
Jill: I pushed him away.
Tim: Well, you should've fired him!
Jill: I did fire him!
Tim: You fired the granite guy?!
Quote from Heidi
Heidi: Welcome to Tool Time on location from Al's living room. Today we're gonna show you how to conserve energy. Now, a good place to start would be replacing all your old insulation. I would recommend that you-
Tim: Heidi?
Heidi: Yes?
Tim: Do tell us when the camera is rolling.
Heidi: Okay... [exits]
Quote from Tim
Jill: I feel terrible, I am really sorry.
Tim: Are you? Or maybe inside you're jumping for joy? Huh? Huh? Maybe you and Ian are just spinning a web of twisted little lies. And I am just your prawn.
Jill: Tim, a prawn is a big shrimp.
Tim: Right. You can't play chess with a crustacean.