Tim Quote #2831
Quote from Tim in Tim 'The Landlord' Taylor
Tim: We're just disagreeing over the lease. So, I'm... I'm gonna have to evict him.
Wilson: Well, Tim, I'm shocked that you would evict your best friend. I'm even more shocked that you would make him sign a lease.
Tim: I'm new at the landlord thing, Wilson. I'm trying to do everything in a businesslike manner.
Wilson: Well, Tim, let me ask you something, if I was renting from you, would you make me sign a lease?
Tim: Well... yeah. Probably let you skip the the fingerprinting and the blood samples.
Wilson: Tim, a landlord doesn't have to do that.
Tim: Well, they don't have to do that. But you know, when I do something new, I like to go at it full strength!
Wilson: Right. Like the time you brought home the new riding mower.
Tim: You got it. I didn't have to put 120 horsepower in that thing. But I did 'cause there's nothing better than adding...
Wilson: More power.
Tim: [grunts]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Tim 'The Landlord' Taylor’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: You know, I've done similar things to him for different reasons.
Al: You have?
Jill: There was this one time, I was really overwhelmed with schoolwork. And he kept pestering me about remodeling a bathroom or something. So, I snuck out to the garage and I... I squirted some motor oil under the engine of his Mustang. It kept him out of my hair for days.
Al: That's brilliant!
Jill: This other time, I painted chicken pox on Mark's face so I wouldn't have to go to a tractor pull.
Al: Oh, this is a side of you I never knew existed!
Jill: Yeah. I'm devious.
Quote from Al
Al: Now... you fix my house.
Tim: Come on, Al. Now, you telling me you wouldn't be ashamed to have someone else repair stuff you could do?
Al: Not in the least.
Tim: You really want me fixing this stuff?
Al: Well, you wouldn't be my first choice. But I'll be right here behind you watching every move you make, "buddy!"
Quote from Al
Jill: Al, this doesn't have to end up in the courts. I mean, you and Tim just have to come to your senses.
Al: Tim? The man who has federal marshals hounding me about some mail fraud rap?
Jill: Well, we all know that Tim has a tendency to go overboard.
Al: Yeah. Well, when he goes overboard with me he turns the whole ship upside-down. And I'm left holding onto my dinghy.