Jill Quote #885

Quote from Jill in Thanksgiving

Rodney Dangerfield: Hey, Schmayman. Hey. What can I tell you, huh?
Irv Schmayman: Hey, Rodney.
Rodney Dangerfield: I had a hard time finding you, you know. After they saw my face they turned off all the lights.
Irv Schmayman: Rodney starred in my Christmas special. I Don't Get No Respect: On Ice.
Rodney Dangerfield: Oh, and I'll tell you, it was cold. It was so cold, it was colder than my wife's handshake on our honeymoon.
Jill: [laughs] Hello.
Rodney Dangerfield: How do you do, baby.
Jill: I'm Jill Taylor. I can't believe it's Rodney Dangerfield. What are you doing in Detroit?
Rodney Dangerfield: I'm looking for plugs and points. [laughter] I was the Grand Marshal at the Great American Parade. And I tell you, if they made me the Grand Marshal, how great can America be, you know?


 ‘Thanksgiving’ Quotes

Quote from Tim

Ted: These are the transformers and all the breakers. I love spending time down here.
Tim: Who wouldn't? The place is so homey.
Ted: If you like this, wait till you see our control room. That's where we operate all of the Silverdome's lights and our 2,000 toilets.
Tim: Wait a minute. Two thousand toilets? Is there a button you can press to flush them all at once?
Ted: No, but I'll bring it up at the next board meeting. You're a thinker. I like that.

Quote from Tim

Ted: Hello, Taylor family. Welcome to box 12. I'm Ted, your personal Silverdome liaison and I've got hats.
Jill: Oh, thank you. I'm Jill Taylor. And that's Randy, Mark and Brad and my husband, Tim Taylor.
Ted: Hey, it's "The Tool Man." [imitating Tim] "Oh! Oh!"
Tim: Good to meet you, Ted. Um, you look awful familiar. Have we met before?
Ted: No. Perhaps you've met one of my brothers. Ned or Fred?
Tim: Wait a minute. One brother works at the airport in Alpena. And the other brother at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, I've met them.
Ted: Yes. I hope they didn't give you any trouble. They've always been pretty ornery. One time they held me down and packed my nose with candy corn.
Jill: Kids can be so cruel.
Ted: This was last Christmas. By the way, Tim, I've been authorized to give you a tour of the Silverdome's nerve center. Home of our state-of-the-art electrical and plumbing system.
Tim: Somebody pinch me!

 Jill Taylor Quotes

Quote from Back in the Saddle Shoes Again

Tim: Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever wished that you'd married somebody as smart as you?
Jill: You think I'm smarter than you?
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: Well, that just shows how smart you are.
Tim: You didn't answer the question.
Jill: Do I ever wish that I married somebody else? Why would I wanna marry anybody else? You're funny, you're sexy, creative, you take chances, and you're definitely not afraid to be wrong. I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that PBS is something that women get once a month.
Tim: What I said was, "Once a month is enough for PBS." And way too much for the other thing.

Quote from Room at the Top

Jill: Yeah, well this is only about ten percent of my problems. The other 90 percent... I'm married, too. You see, my husband, he's going through this sort of midlife crisis thing, you know, "Who am I? Where am I? Should I grow a beard? Should I buy a hunting lodge?" And then... And then... And then today, Brad spilled a soda on my paper, Mark's asking for skulls, and before I knew it, I was asking my husband to start construction on an office.
Dr. Breen: What's- What's wrong with your husband building you an office?
Jill: I'm married to Tim Taylor.
Dr. Breen: Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor?
Jill: Yeah, and maybe you'd better switch to a tape recorder here.
Dr. Breen: I hope I have enough batteries.