Tim Quote #2712
Quote from Tim in Losing My Religion
Al: Well, Father, I was trying to explain to Tim exactly what a piscina is. Would you care to elaborate?
Mike Webber: It's a sink.
Tim: [mocking] Na-na-na-na-na.
Mike Webber: The difference is, it's a sink that's been blessed.
Tim: So, you need to find a blessed plumber. That's hard. "Oh, Father, forgive me. I've overcharged. Your trap wasn't stuck at all."
Mike Webber: You don't need a plumber, actually, Tim. You see, it's a very simple concept. It's a basin, with a pipe that goes directly into the ground so that the sacred fluids go right back into the earth. The piscina is a thousand year old tradition in the church and it's symbolic of many wondrous miracles.
Al: Thank you, Father. [mocking] Na-na-na-na-na.
Mike Webber: The most wonderful miracle is, it's so simple to install, even you can't destroy it. [Al snorts]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Losing My Religion’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: You know, there's a place where people get together and pray for God's protection.
Randy: Dad, I'm not going to church.
Tim: I was talking about Tool Time.
Quote from Jill
Jill: So what exactly are you going to be doing at the hospice?
Randy: I'll be spending my time with a woman named Elaine. You know, we'll play cards, watch videos.
Tim: Hey, why don't you take her some old Tool Time videos?
Jill: The woman has suffered enough.
Quote from Tim
Jill: What is this? I mean, you're not exactly Mr. Religious. I mean, half the time in church you fall asleep.
Tim: But I'm in the building, so I get credit.
Jill: [laughs] Is that what this is about?
Tim: That's God's plan.
Jill: God's plan?
Tim: Yes, you go to church, you get credit. You fall asleep, you lose a credit. You understand the sermon, you get extra credit. If you get enough credits, you can bypass hell and upgrade right to heaven.