Randy Quote #367
Quote from Randy in Losing My Religion
Randy: Is this your family?
Elaine: Yes. That's my son, Steven and my daughter, Nancy. They both asked me to move in with them.
Randy: Why didn't you?
Elaine: Well, one lives in California and one lives in Florida. I hate surfing and old people.
Randy: You know, the worst is old people who surf. [imitating old man] Hey, get out of my pipeline. I'm surfing here.
Elaine: Well, I am staying here in Detroit until the Lions win a Super Bowl.
Randy: You're gonna be here awhile.
Elaine: I'm counting on it.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Losing My Religion’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: You know, there's a place where people get together and pray for God's protection.
Randy: Dad, I'm not going to church.
Tim: I was talking about Tool Time.
Quote from Jill
Jill: So what exactly are you going to be doing at the hospice?
Randy: I'll be spending my time with a woman named Elaine. You know, we'll play cards, watch videos.
Tim: Hey, why don't you take her some old Tool Time videos?
Jill: The woman has suffered enough.
Quote from Tim
Jill: What is this? I mean, you're not exactly Mr. Religious. I mean, half the time in church you fall asleep.
Tim: But I'm in the building, so I get credit.
Jill: [laughs] Is that what this is about?
Tim: That's God's plan.
Jill: God's plan?
Tim: Yes, you go to church, you get credit. You fall asleep, you lose a credit. You understand the sermon, you get extra credit. If you get enough credits, you can bypass hell and upgrade right to heaven.