Tim Quote #2608
Bud: Wait, Tim. See, he doesn't understand how business works. You see, rushing a plan like this could affect jobs, and Binford's financial well-being.
Randy: Well, what about the well-being of the environment? Without clean air to breathe, you don't have customers to buy your tools. I mean, besides, do people really need fourteen different types of hacksaws?
Tim: People do!
Quote from Tim
Tim: Hey, how was your bus ride?
Randy: Mom, I'm going to write my article.
Tim: You're not writing anything until you get the facts straight!
Randy: So, now you're telling me what I can and can't write? You're acting like some tyrannical fascist.
Tim: Did he just call me a dinosaur?
Quote from Wilson
Tim: Randy wrote an article in there exposing Binford's poor environmental record. I'm real angry about it.
Wilson: Well, Tim, why are you angry? Because Randy wrote the article or because of Binford's poor record?
Tim: Both. Not to mention the fact that he called me a sell-out. The information caused a riot on Tool Time. I don't know what to believe.
Wilson: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You know, I'm reminded of something the Polish linguist Alfred Korzybski once said.
Tim: "Why can't my name be Johnson?"
Wilson: Korzybski said, "There are two ways to slide easily through life: To believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save you from thinking."
Quote from At Sea
Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".
Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind
Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.