Tim Quote #2581
Quote from Tim in Quest for Fire
Al: Well, we have a sizzling hot show for you today. So, let's get cooking. It's barbecue week here on Tool Time. [fanfare playing] Well, barbecuing goes back to primitive times when cavemen rubbed two sticks together to cook their carcass du jour.
Tim: Nothing like an all-you-can-eat brontosaurus buffet. But stay clear of that pudding. Plonko!
Al: But nowadays, you can cook your meat on this three dollar portable unit, or cook like a king with this $35,000 gas cooking unit.
Tim: Built-in dishwasher, disposal, CD player. And, in a pinch, an automatic hibachi cook. But for purists there's nothing like charcoal.
Al: They think the true measure of a man is how fast he can light his coals.
Tim: Yeah, yeah. Of course, a woman thinks it's how long a man can keep his coals lit.
Al: Well, there's a gentleman in Indiana who used liquid oxygen. Got his charcoal ready in three seconds.
Tim: Yeah, but there's a very handsome guy here in Detroit who says he can beat that record.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Quest for Fire’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Jill: It is so beautiful here. It would be nice to live here someday.
Tim: Lou at the bait shop's counting on you.
Jill: Did you really go around looking for crazy people?
Tim: I don't have to. They find me.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: See, Byron noted that men of Tim's life experience suddenly go through difficult times and they respond in strange ways. Byron said, "Of all the barbarous middle ages, that which is most barbarous is the middle age of man".
Jill: So, you're saying that Tim's having a mid-life crisis?
Wilson: Well, I'm not sure about that. I do know he is at an age where he has to come to grips with his own mortality.
Jill: I don't know, Wilson. It's not like Tim's wearing gold chains and has a blonde on each arm. Yet.
Wilson: Well, the truth is that every man struggles with middle age in his own unique way.
Quote from Tim
Al: Well, you may be wondering how Tim's going to beat that three second record.
Tim: Well, I'm not wondering. I got a hold of some of my buddies down at NASA. They gave me their secret. Rocket fuel! Rocket fuel's made with LOX, but this don't go on no bagel, baby. This is liquid oxygen with a skosche of hydrogen, and for fun, a little soupcon of cilantro for flavor.
Al: We're trained professionals. Please do not try this at home.
Tim: Ah, there you go. Heidi, my fire-starting device, please.
Heidi: There you go, Tim.
Tim: Very high-tech. It's a stick. [lights the barbecue]
Al: Two-point-six seconds. A new world record!
Heidi: Tim, it's a little out of control.
Tim: Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Don't panic.
Al: Stay away from the barbecue!
Tim: [puts the lid on] It's OK, all right? It's fine. It's done.
[After flames shoot out of the bottom of the barbecue, it lifts off]