Al Quote #353
Al: What is becoming of Al Borland? I mean, is my sensitivity being obliterated by my overwhelming masculinity?
Lisa: I don't think so, Al.
Quote from Tim
Jill: Tim, which do you think the audience is gonna be more excited about, your primered car or the two tool girls?
Tim: Come on! Tool Time, guys watching... The primered hot rod.
Jill: You are so sweet. I love that you rather look at cars than beautiful women.
Tim: You know what that also means?
Tim: I'd leave you in a second if I met the right Corvette.
Quote from Dead Weight
Al: I was just thinking about my mother, all the great times we used to have. When I was a kid, she used to take us to the park. We'd fly kites, she'd push us on the swing. We'd spend hours on the teeter-totter.
Tim: I used to love the teeter-totter. Up and down. Up and down.
Tim: Well, they play it differently in different parts of the country.
Quote from This Joke's for You
Al: What, your little bell will send 5,000 volts coursing through my body? [chuckles] While he stands back and yells, "Remember the Al-amo!"
Tim: I just want you to press the bell.
Al: I know... It's just a setup, isn't it? It's one big setup.
Tim: It is not a setup!
Al: Soon you'll start in with the uncalled-for slams against my mother...
Al: How she always shops in the husky section. How she wiped out the all-you-can-eat salad bar.
Tim: Al, I simply came out here to put this thing together.
Al: Well, go ahead. Just say it. My mother is a big fat cow!
Tim: Goodness gracious, Al. We'll be right back after these messages from Binford Tools.