Jill Quote #757
Quote from Jill in The Flirting Game
Jill: If I get this job, not only will I get to work with Dr. Matthews, but my name will be on a research paper.
Patty: [siren wailing] I hate to tell you, but your name is also gonna be on a speeding ticket.
Jill: Oh, no! I can't believe this. I have never gotten a ticket.
Police Officer: Good evening, ma'am. May I please see your driver's license and registration?
Jill: Oh, yes, sir. Absolutely, sir. [Patti chuckles as Jill bends over to grabs her purse from the backseat] It's here somewhere. Let me see. Uh, glasses, uh, hair brush, coupons, uh... Tic Tac?
Police Officer: Just the license and registration.
Patty: Uh, I'll have a Tic Tac.
Police Officer: Ma'am, I clocked you at 75 miles an hour. The maximum speed limit is 65.
Jill: I understand, officer. I am so sorry. I never speed. It's just I was so excited about this job interview I just came from. If I get this job, my name will be on a research paper on the effects of adolescent anti-social behavior on inner-family dynamics. But I guess you've heard that story a thousand times.
Police Officer: Just tonight.
Jill: Officer, um, I know this isn't standard procedure, but could you possibly find it in your heart to just let me off with a warning? [flicks hair] Officer, I will never speed again.
Police Officer: You think you can really be more careful from now on?
Jill: I promise.
Police Officer: Well, I guess I can make an exception and let you off just this once.
Jill: Oh, thank you. Thank you so much!
Police Officer: Don't mention it... to anybody.
Patty: Oh, no.
Jill: No. Good night.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘The Flirting Game’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: It went well. They're gonna bring me to meet Dr. Matthews.
Patty: Oh. Well, you're a shoo-in. You know more about psychology than half of the professors here. How do you know so much about abnormal behavior?
Jill: Have you met my husband?
Quote from Tim
Tim: Hi again, and welcome back to Tool Time.
Al: Where we continue our look at antique tools.
Tim: These beautiful, handcrafted, antique tools came from a time when more power meant manpower. [grunts]
Al: Now, over here, we have two pedal-powered machines. This happens to be a pedal-powered scroll saw.
Tim: Over here is a lathe. Let me show you how this works. Take a seat here. Now, say you're making a table leg.
Al: You're making a table leg. [laughs]
Tim: It's like an exercise bike. While you're shaping your leg, your leg's getting shaped. [imitates Pee-wee Herman laugh]
Al: Now, over here we have an old rope-making machine. You simply turn the crank and three pieces of twine become one piece of rope.
Tim: In the time before television, families would sit around the rope machine and watch knots landing.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Tell us about this, Al.
Al: Well, this is an old hog oiler.
Tim: Now, how does this compare with the one in your mom's house?
Al: You see, the way these work is the hog comes up and it rubs against the rollers like so. And the skin becomes moist.
Tim: Oh. So, the hog actually looks at this as kind of an "oinkment." [Al laughs]