Tim Quote #2360

Quote from Tim in The Flirting Game

Tim: Hi again, and welcome back to Tool Time.
Al: Where we continue our look at antique tools.
Tim: These beautiful, handcrafted, antique tools came from a time when more power meant manpower. [grunts]
Al: Now, over here, we have two pedal-powered machines. This happens to be a pedal-powered scroll saw.
Tim: Over here is a lathe. Let me show you how this works. Take a seat here. Now, say you're making a table leg.
Al: You're making a table leg. [laughs]
Tim: It's like an exercise bike. While you're shaping your leg, your leg's getting shaped. [imitates Pee-wee Herman laugh]
Al: Now, over here we have an old rope-making machine. You simply turn the crank and three pieces of twine become one piece of rope.
Tim: In the time before television, families would sit around the rope machine and watch knots landing.

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 ‘The Flirting Game’ Quotes

Quote from Jill

Jill: It went well. They're gonna bring me to meet Dr. Matthews.
Patty: Oh. Well, you're a shoo-in. You know more about psychology than half of the professors here. How do you know so much about abnormal behavior?
Jill: Have you met my husband?

Quote from Tim

Tim: Tell us about this, Al.
Al: Well, this is an old hog oiler.
Tim: Now, how does this compare with the one in your mom's house?
Al: You see, the way these work is the hog comes up and it rubs against the rollers like so. And the skin becomes moist.
Tim: Oh. So, the hog actually looks at this as kind of an "oinkment." [Al laughs]

 Tim Taylor Quotes

Quote from At Sea

Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".

Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind

Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.