Tim Quote #2346
Quote from Tim in No Place Like Home
Lucille: Who was that at the door, Tim?
Tim: Mr. and Mrs. Motel 6.
Lucille: Who?
Tim: The new owners. You know what they want to do to this place?
Lucille: Yeah, they mentioned a few things. Ceramic tile, wrought-iron staircase.
Tim: And that's OK with you?
Lucille: Well, it's their house. They can do whatever they want with it.
Tim: You lived here 42 years and you let people buy the house that are just gonna tear it apart?
Lucille: Well, what was I supposed to do?
Tim: Background check? Find out how their values are, whether they're pro or anti tongue-and-groove.
Lucille: Tim, I sold them the house. I didn't put it up for adoption.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘No Place Like Home’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: You know, closing up the old childhood home can be a traumatic thing. I know it was for me.
Tim: A lot of memories?
Wilson: Yeah, they're still vivid. Waking up to the sound of a hyena laughing. The sweet smell of hay as the zebra grazed. The sight of a mother rhinoceros feeding her calf.
Tim: Uh, you... you were raised in Africa?
Wilson: Chicago. In an apartment overlooking the zoo.
Quote from Tim
Jill: How are you, honey?
Tim: I'm good. I was just thinking how much I'm like this house.
Marty: You mean you both have old, leaky pipes?
Tim: I'm speaking metaphorically.
Jeff: Metaphorically? You actually know what that means?
Tim: I have a neighbor who explains stuff like this to me.
Quote from Wilson
Tim: So, Wilson, what are you doing?
Wilson: Well, Tim, I'm carving a nativity scene out of giant radishes. What do you think of my Three Wise Men?
Tim: I think they should come bearing onion dip.
Wilson: [chuckles] See, this is part of the Mexican custom of Noche de Rabanos.
Tim: Um... Night of the Bathroom?
Wilson: No, no, no, no, no, Tim. Night of the Radishes. You see, every Christmas, farming families would head into town and display their tuberous creations.