Tim Quote #2256
Quote from Tim in Jill and Her Sisters
Tim: I wondered why you can't use the same technology, but instead of sucking them off the ground, suck them off the trees.
Al: Well, as long as you keep wondering, no one will get hurt.
Tim: You'd think by now you'd know me better than that.
Al: You're right. Heidi, bring out whatever ridiculous thing Tim souped up today.
Tim: Bring it out, Heidi.
Heidi: Here you go, Tim.
Tim: Thank you, Heidi. You know, it's amazing what you can build with a Binford blower, an old VW motor and a surplus weather balloon.
Al: Have you tested this?
Tim: This will be the first time, Al. [Tim turns the machine on and it sucks leaves from the tree]
Al: Well, it works. Nobody got hurt. Let's give Tim a big hand. [Tim turns around, pointing the machine at Al, and it sucks his clothing off]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Jill and Her Sisters’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Jill: We're supposed to be planning this very important event in my parents' lives and my sisters bail. I don't know why I'm surprised. I mean, they get to be crazy. I have to be the sensible one.
Wilson: Well, it can be quite a burden.
Jill: Do you have any idea what it's like to have everybody come with their problems, and expect you to solve them?
[Jill looks away as Wilson peeks over his menu]
Wilson: You know, Jill, I realize it isn't easy. A lot of people think it's a picnic for me to stand by the fence and offer up a quotation for every situation. I mean, what am I, a library?
Quote from Tim
Jill: Stop it. Stop it! You are all insane. And I'm insane for sitting here listening to this. I'm sick of all this fighting. I'm sick of playing referee in this family. And when there is no party for Mom and Dad you can tell them why. [heads upstairs]
Tim: Jill?
Linda: Well, what's wrong with her?
Tracy: Well, I don't know. I mean, she's always so sensible. At least, you'd think she'd try a little harder with family here for God's sake.
Tim: Excuse me. Excuse me. My wife has been up all night worrying because you hens won't stop bickering. Huh? She tries to do something nice for your parents and how do you thank her? You argue about a cat playing a piano and Hank Fahrvegnugen! You know what? I'm sick of this stuff too. From now on, you're no longer welcome at my sausage bar.
Quote from Randy
Randy: How can so much noise come out of one nose?
Mark: Maybe if we close it.
Randy: No, then the noise would just come out of his mouth.
Brad: Well, what if we close his nose and his mouth?
Randy: I think that's called murder.