Al Quote #311
Brad: How would you like to help us do this prank on our parents?
Al: Well, I wouldn't feel so bad about scaring your dad again, but no, I wouldn't feel right scaring your mom.
Randy: Really? Even after what she said about you?
Al: What did she say about me?
Randy: Oh, I believe she referred to your little Halloween party as "the marathon yawn-a-thon".
Al: Jill said that?
Randy: That's what I heard. What about you, Brad?
Brad: Yeah, I heard her say that. She also said your mom doesn't bob for apples. She bobs for ham hocks.
Al: I'm in!
Quote from Randy
Randy: All right. One candy bar for the spaceman. And seven for the cute little lion cub.
Quote from Dead Weight
Al: I was just thinking about my mother, all the great times we used to have. When I was a kid, she used to take us to the park. We'd fly kites, she'd push us on the swing. We'd spend hours on the teeter-totter.
Tim: I used to love the teeter-totter. Up and down. Up and down.
Tim: Well, they play it differently in different parts of the country.
Quote from This Joke's for You
Al: What, your little bell will send 5,000 volts coursing through my body? [chuckles] While he stands back and yells, "Remember the Al-amo!"
Tim: I just want you to press the bell.
Al: I know... It's just a setup, isn't it? It's one big setup.
Tim: It is not a setup!
Al: Soon you'll start in with the uncalled-for slams against my mother...
Al: How she always shops in the husky section. How she wiped out the all-you-can-eat salad bar.
Tim: Al, I simply came out here to put this thing together.
Al: Well, go ahead. Just say it. My mother is a big fat cow!
Tim: Goodness gracious, Al. We'll be right back after these messages from Binford Tools.