Tim Quote #2196
Quote from Tim in Burnin' Love
Jill: You know, he's very excited about writing the article.
Lauren: Yeah, me too.
Tim: What are you writing about, cars?
Lauren: No, it's about school budget cuts. It's called, "Why Must the Ballet Club Suffer?"
Tim: Easy. So the audience isn't the only one in pain.
More Home Improvement Quotes
‘Burnin' Love’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: It just goes totally against my instincts. I mean, when my kid has a problem, I just want to rush in and fix it.
Wilson: But if Randy learns to fend for himself now, then when he's an adult he'll be more independent.
Jill: Well, who better to help him be independent than his mother?
Wilson: Oh, Jill, I know this is rough on you, but Randy will get through this. In the words of the famous German philosopher Friedrich Nietzche, "That which does not destroy me only makes me stronger".
Jill: What did Nietzche know? He wasn't a mother.
Wilson: Jill, maybe you're being just a wee bit overprotective.
Jill: Oh, what do you know? You're not a mother either.
Wilson: Well, thanks for stopping by. It's always a pleasure.
Quote from Wilson
Jill: You, uh, happen to have anything for a broken heart? Randy is devastated because this girl that he really likes is going out with somebody else.
Wilson: Ah. Mm-hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Oh, I know how painful that can be. I'll never forget losing my first love, Debbie Ann. We were in fourth grade. I guess we were about nine years of age. We were inseparable until one day at the playground we had a big fight.
Jill: About what?
Wilson: Well, I was a big believer in laissez-faire capitalism, and she was a neo-Marxist.
Wilson: Mm-hmm. True.
Tim Taylor Quotes
Quote from At Sea
Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".
Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind
Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.