Tim Quote #2178
Quote from Tim in Workshop 'Til You Drop
Tim: Welcome to Tool Time. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor and you all know my assistant, Al Borland.
Al: Today we're gonna show you how to maintain the tools in your workshop.
Tim: And we're not talking about some marriage workshop where they force you to spill your guts.
Al: Why would we? We're a tool show. You see, over time your tools could become useless if they're not properly maintained.
Tim: And maintenance on tools is easy. You don't have to drag these bad boys to some tool therapy group to "bring back the magic".
Al: Tool therapy group?
Tim: You must have read the book. Hammers are from Venus, Pliers are from Mars.
Al: You're the one from Mars.
Tim: They found life there, you know. There was a meteorite with old Germans in it. Now...
Al: Germs. There were germs in it.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Workshop 'Til You Drop’ Quotes
Quote from Bud
Bud: I took my marriage for granted and now I'm having to pay the price. Do you know what it's like to go home to an 18-room mansion and there's no one to share it with but your domestic staff?
Tim: Can't say as I do, Bud.
Bud: Well, let me tell you, Tim, it's no fun.
Quote from Bud
Tim: I didn't know you and Jean were having any trouble.
Bud: Yeah, we just stopped talking to each other. There's nothing more important in a marriage than communication.
Tim: Is there any chance of you guys getting back together?
Bud: About as much chance as you getting through Tool Time without a fire or flood.
Tim: It doesn't look too good, does it?
Quote from Tim
Dr. Emory: Repressed anger can often be a problem in marriages. When we keep things bottled up inside they can surface at inappropriate moments. Would anyone like to share an angry moment they've been holding on to? [Tim raises his hand] Tim.
Tim: I'd like to share an angry moment.
Jill: Go. No, no, go!
Tim: OK. [sighing] I went to an auto parts store to pick up some windshield wipers, to replace them on my Mustang. It clearly said on the box, "Will fit any Ford". A Mustang's a Ford, isn't it? Well, I get them home, they're the clip-on type, not the snap-on type. They didn't fit. I couldn't use them. I take them back to the store, they would not give my money back because they were used! [exhaling]
Jill: This is your big angry moment?
Tim: You bet. It's been with me a long time. It's great to get it off my chest.
Dr. Emory: What has that got to do with your marriage?
Tim: I was married at the time.