Wilson Quote #261
Tim: And the little one with the supercharged lungs is my youngest son Randy. Got a little colic.
Wilson: Mmm, I know. I've been hearing it for the past few nights.
Tim: Sorry about that.
Wilson: I took the liberty to mix you up a batch of ginger-root juice for your son's colic.
Tim: And I'm supposed to put that in his bottle?
Wilson: No. You just rub a little bit on his belly.
Tim: All right. At this point, I'm willing to try anything. You sure it's all right? Easy, easy, easy. Easy, boy. Oh, oh. Why are you looking at me like that? Stop crying. Just a little bit. Won't hurt. Right here. Mm-hm.
Tim: It worked. So that's what you look like when you're not crying, huh?
Wilson: Oh, ho-ho-ho. He is a handsome little fella.
Tim: Hey. Thanks very much. You know, when I first got married, didn't think I ever wanted kids. Now that it happened, I like 'em. I like 'em better than cars. You got kids?
Wilson: I don't even have a car.
Tim: Um, thanks for the belly rub. I'm going to put him to bed now.
Wilson: Feel free to stop by anytime and chat.
Tim: Well, thanks, but I'm a pretty private guy. I don't like sharing my problems with other guys, OK? Good night.
Wilson: Good night.
Quote from Randy
Randy: Why does this bad stuff always have to happen to me?
Tim: Well, bad stuff happens to everybody. Bad stuff happens to me all the time.
Randy: Yeah, but you cause it.
Quote from Bye Bye Birdie
Tim: I want Brad to be a good student.
Tim: So I told him that multiplying compound fractions is a real important part of that. But, you know, between you and me, it's kinda useless information.
Wilson: Well, I don't know about that, Tim. There was a time when I thought my extensive research into ancient tribal cultures, obscure scientific data, the thoughts of great philosophers, would never come in handy. Then you moved in.
Quote from Doctor in the House
Wilson: A Ph.D.?! Tim? Aw, Jill, Jill, Jill, Jill... Do you realize how many hours I had to study to get my doctorate in forgotten languages and extinct cultures? Oh, my, my, my. Sitting in that library, reading that insufferable microfilm till I thought I would practically go blind? Not to mention that to support myself, I had to volunteer as a subject for lab experiments. Oh, oh. And the thing that really irritates me about this whole thing...
Wilson: Oh, Jill, Jill, talk me down, talk me down.
Jill: I came out here so you'd talk me down.
Wilson: Oh, I'm sorry, Jill. I just lost control.