Tim Quote #2031
Quote from Tim in Engine and a Haircut, Two Fights
Tim: Welcome to Green Week here on Tool Time.
Al: That's right. We're going to be demonstrating how you can use recycled material to build a beautiful home like this.
Tim: The walls in this home are made out of recycled paper. The studs from recycled old cars. Studs from old cars. That clears up the mystery. I used to be an old car.
Al: All right. Well, we're gonna show you how you can use old tires and aluminum cans to build walls.
Tim: It's very simple, actually. You stack your tires like so. To stabilize them, put a little dirt in there... like that.
Al: Making sure to put aluminum cans in the holes before you put the dirt in.
Tim: Use light beer cans, and your wall's less filling.
Al: You know, our friends in the animal kingdom have been using recycled materials to build their homes since the beginning of time.
Tim: How many friends do you have in the animal kingdom? "Oh, look, the hippo's coming over, bringing that casserole I like." "Oh, look. I'll play charades with the cheetah."
Al: You know, the African hornbill builds his own nest out of his own dung.
Tim: That's an interesting piece of news, isn't it? It means, if you go to his house, you can actually say this without him getting mad: "Boy! This house smells just like..."
Al: Tim.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Engine and a Haircut, Two Fights’ Quotes
Quote from Randy
Wilson: "Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I'll no longer be a Capulet."
Jill: Well, I guess I'm the one that's no longer a Capulet. Apparently, I've been replaced.
Randy: No, you haven't. I was just out here rehearsing with Wilson so I'd be good enough to rehearse with you.
Wilson: Jill, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was usurping your role.
Jill: Oh, come on. You've had your eye on this part all week.
Wilson: Now, that is not true! Young Randy came out here and beseeched me to step into the role.
Jill: You beseeched him?
Randy: I didn't beseech anybody! I don't even know what "beseech" means.
Quote from Wilson
Randy: "When he bestrides the lazy puffing clouds and floats upon the bosom of the air."
Wilson: "O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name."
Randy: Oh, Wilson. I gotta tell you you're a much better Juliet than Mom.
Wilson: Well, thank you, young Randy. I wouldn't want to disparage another actor, but at the Greenville School for Boys, I was known as quite a breathtaking Juliet. And it wasn't easy playing a love scene opposite that pimple-faced Herman Dilbert. You know, I got nothing from him. It was like acting with a head of lettuce.
Randy: Wilson, could we?
Quote from Randy
Randy: I don't know. One of those kids has been the lead in all the school plays.
Jill: But I'll bet that he doesn't come from a theatrical family.
Randy: I hate to break this to you, Mom, but Tool Time isn't exactly great theater. Even though it does usually end in tragedy.