Tim Quote #1957
Quote from Tim in The Vasectomy One
Jill: Tim, Tim, Tim, wait, wait, wait. Um... My husband, I think, is just concerned about how this is gonna affect his performance.
Tim: Honey! [chuckles] Let me handle this. You see, I put on a good show. And I just want to make sure the curtain doesn't come down in the middle of the first act.
Dr. Kaplan: This will not in any way affect your sexual function. We simply cut off the flow of sperm...
Tim: Oh, boy.
Dr. Kaplan: To prevent it from entering the seminal stream.
Tim: Mmm-hmm. So, I'm fishing without bait now.
Dr. Kaplan: No bait.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘The Vasectomy One’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Tim: I thought you were talking about the tube-tying thing.
Jill: Well, I am talking about tube-tying, except it's your tubes.
Tim: You can back up that clip ship right now.
Jill: Honey, it is much safer for a man to get a vasectomy than it is for a woman to have a tubal ligation.
Tim: Says who? The Wives with Knives Club?
Quote from Jill
Tim: A woman? You brought me here to see a woman?
Jill: I didn't know she was a woman. My gynecologist just said that Dr. Kaplan was the best urologist in town.
Tim: How am I supposed to talk to a woman about what's going on in manland?
Jill: Manland? Now you got a theme park between your legs?
Quote from Tim
Jill: Why don't you tell us what's involved in the procedure.
Tim: Yeah, I'm dying to hear this.
Dr. Kaplan: Well, the morning of your appointment, you'll have to shave in the area where I'll be making the incisions.
Tim: Shave? Here?
Dr. Kaplan: It's just a routine procedure.
Tim: Not in my house it's not. What do you think? I wake up, brush my teeth and shave ping and pong?
Jill: Well, you could go to a barber, but it might be a little awkward.