Al Quote #254
Quote from Al in 'Twas the Flight Before Christmas
Al: You know, and that's another reason why Ilene shouldn't be upset at Mother joining us for New Year's. You know, after a couple of Rob Roys, Mother can be quite the party animal.
Stewardess: Here are your drinks. One ginger ale, one martini - double olives on the side.
Tim: Thanks very much.
Al: Thank you. [to Tim] Oh, I suppose mother can be needy, but... [Tim downs his drinks and sticks the olives in his ears] how can I turn my back on the woman who nurtured me from the womb? I'm just thankful that I have a friend like you that will lend me a supportive ear... That has a green olive in it!
Tim: This just means the barf bag wasn't big enough to fit over my head.
Al: I just don't why Ilene is acting like this.
Tim: Oh, God! Maybe the plane will crash. [removes the olives]
Al: You know, I have a good mind not to give Ilene her Christmas present. And I had a necklace made especially for her out of coins that she collected when she went to Stockholm for the gingivitis symposium.
Tim: You gave her spare change from a bloody-gum convention?
Home Improvement Quotes
‘'Twas the Flight Before Christmas’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Al: You know, Ilene, I resent your attitude towards my mother. She's a wonderful, giving woman who lights up all the lives she touches.
Ilene: Oh, please! I am so sick of you putting your mother up on a pedestal!
Jill: [quietly to Tim] You got to admire him for having the strength to hoist her up there. Oh, my God! I'm turning into you.
Tim: It's kind of fun, isn't it?
Quote from Tim
Tim: We really have to get there. Is there a car-rental counter here?
Clerk: Of course. [removes the "Ticket Counter" sign and puts up a "Pilgrim Car Rental" sign] Now, what kind of car would you like? We're running a special on convertibles.
Tim: It's four degrees outside.
Clerk: Then I'd advise you to leave the top up.
Al: Could you give us a map so we could find our way to Kinross?
Clerk: No problem. I don't think the map is going to do you much good.
Al: Why not?
Clerk: The roads are closed.
Tim: Well, why are we renting a car if we can't drive it anywhere?
Clerk: I was wondering the same thing myself.
Quote from Al
Tim: Well, it looks like we're going to make it home in time for Christmas, Al.
Al: The only problem is I still don't know what to do about Ilene and my mother. How can I choose between the woman who means more to me than anything, or my girlfriend?