Tim Quote #1770
Tim: Welcome to a special Tool Time on location. I am Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor. And you all know my assistant, Al "La Carte" Borland.
Al: We're here on location to introduce to you another one of our unsung heroes of the job site.
Tim: That's right. Heidi, my unsung heroes theme music, please. [Heidi is chatting to a group of work men] Heidi. Heidi! Guys, back to work, please.
Heidi: Here you go, Tim.
Tim, Al & Heidi: [sing with jingle] He gets no thanks and that ain't right He's the unsung hero of the job site.
Tim: All right, today we're gonna meet the man who drives this great-looking lunch wagon. Hi, there. This is Nick Cantalupo. The man, the melon.
Nick: Thanks, Tim. Uh... Your food service vehicle doesn't get much respect in the culinary community. People call it the "roach coach," the "barf bus," the "upchuck wagon," the "vomit van."
Tim: Well, Nick, you're really whetting my appetite.
Nick: Good. Because today we're serving up some really savory selections.
Tim: Chili and onions, chili cheese dogs, three-cheese chili omelets. [whistles] I think I've died and gone to heaven.
Al: I know what killed ya.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘The Look’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Benny: What's the look?
Tim: Oh, come on. It's just the most potent weapon in a woman's arsenal. Her face will transform right in front of you. Her lips get really tight like this.
Marty: Yeah. And then her whole face shrivels up. It's like...
Harry: Yeah. And then her eyes get real small and meet right in the middle of her head like a Cyclops in a housecoat.
Tim: Just when you think you can't take anymore, she lines you up and finishes you off.
Benny: Ohh! I'm never getting married. And not just because women can't stand me.
Quote from Al
Harry: Well, look, he's taking me to the game first because I'm his hardware guy.
Marty: No, no, no. If anyone deserves to go, it's me. I'm his brother.
Al: Excuse me. I'm the one that risks his life every day working next to him.
Marty: Uh, the man's got a point.
Al: All right, OK.
Quote from Wilson
Tim: Well, you got it made. Unattached guy like you... You don't need permission to go to 40 Pistons games.
Wilson: Uh-oh. I take it Jill was not too thrilled with your recent purchase.
Tim: That's putting it mildly. First, she gave me the look.
Wilson: The look!
Tim: You know about the look?
Wilson: Oh, Tim, every man knows about the look. Wives have been giving their husbands the look for untold centuries. As a matter of fact, the look was the reason brides started wearing veils. It was long believed that the penetrating stare of a bride could weaken her husband and render him impotent.
Tim: I thought that was caused by all the brown liquor at the reception.
Wilson: Well, that could do it too, Tim.