Jill Quote #551
Jill: Great news. Guess what I found in the closet. My old 45s. [Brad and Randy have a blank expression]
Randy: You're gonna let us have guns at the party?
Jill: These are records. This is the music I used to listen to at my parties.
Brad: Oh, this can't be good.
Jill: Oh, "Hurdy Gurdy Man" by Donovan. Oh. This is a great slow song. "To Sir With Love" by Lulu.
Brad & Randy: Lulu?
Brad: Don't worry about it, Randy. There's not a machine in the city that'll play those things.
Jill: Not true. I found my old Princess record player in the closet too. All I have to do now is find a needle for it.
Brad: Hey, why don't you just hop into your time machine?
Quote from Tim
Marge: Hey, Tim. I see your eyebrows grew back.
Tim: Well, they always do. And they're bushier. They're thicker this time.
Marge: Your wife called and said something about a girl with an injured ankle.
Tim: It's Randy's birthday party and she slipped on the dance floor. Kids.
Marge: Slipped on the dance floor? Let me guess... you overwaxed.
Tim: You know me too well, Marge.
Marge: I should. I see you more often than I see my own husband.
Quote from Wilson
Tim: Wilson, are you naked?
Wilson: No, Tim, I'm wearing a hat.
Tim: Why are you naked?
Wilson: Well, Tim, in Finland, they believe that to rejuvenate the body and the soul, you take a hot sauna bath and you follow that with an ice-cold snow massage.
Tim: What do they follow that up with? A heart attack?
Wilson: No, no, no, Tim. Actually, it's quite invigorating. You know, maybe you'd like to join me for a hot sauna sometime. There's always room for two under my dome.
Tim: No, thanks, Wilson. I'm not much of a "get naked with your neighbor" kind of guy.
Quote from Back in the Saddle Shoes Again
Tim: Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever wished that you'd married somebody as smart as you?
Jill: You think I'm smarter than you?
Jill: Well, that just shows how smart you are.
Tim: You didn't answer the question.
Jill: Do I ever wish that I married somebody else? Why would I wanna marry anybody else? You're funny, you're sexy, creative, you take chances, and you're definitely not afraid to be wrong. I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that PBS is something that women get once a month.
Tim: What I said was, "Once a month is enough for PBS." And way too much for the other thing.
Quote from Room at the Top
Jill: Yeah, well this is only about ten percent of my problems. The other 90 percent... I'm married, too. You see, my husband, he's going through this sort of midlife crisis thing, you know, "Who am I? Where am I? Should I grow a beard? Should I buy a hunting lodge?" And then... And then... And then today, Brad spilled a soda on my paper, Mark's asking for skulls, and before I knew it, I was asking my husband to start construction on an office.
Dr. Breen: What's- What's wrong with your husband building you an office?
Jill: I'm married to Tim Taylor.
Dr. Breen: Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor?
Jill: Yeah, and maybe you'd better switch to a tape recorder here.
Dr. Breen: I hope I have enough batteries.