Tim Quote #1365
Quote from Tim in Let's Go to the Videotape
Harry: I tell you what kills me - is when my wife wants to talk about our "relationship."
Tim: Like you have one. No, wait. I got a better one. My wife's studying psychology right now. Boy, is she boring when she yammers on about these terms - neurotic, psychotic, halitosis, neurosis, cirrhosis, I don't know. Dysfunction, dat function, your function.
Harry: My wife is much more boring.
Eddie: No one is as boring as my wife.
Tim: When my wife talks psychology, she is the big bopper of boredom. So I got this great strategy, right. This is cool. I just pretend like I'm listening and fade her out and just go, "Whuh-huh."
Al: You guys, I'm telling you, maybe it's 'cause I'm new to my relationship, but I like talking to Ilene.
Tim, Harry & Eddie: Whuh-huh, whuh-huh, whuh-huh.
Al: It's true. I find everything she says fascinating and illuminating.
Tim, Harry & Eddie: Whuh-huh, whuh-huh, whuh-huh.
Tim: Al, that's 'cause in your relationship, you are the boring one.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Let's Go to the Videotape’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Well, Jill, the renowned psychiatrist lrvin D. Yalom postulated that men relieve their isolation by bonding over common fears and experiences.
Jill: Oh, please, Yalom was talking about universality as it applies to formal therapy, not a bunch of guys sitting around dumping on their wives.
Wilson: [momentarily speechless] Well, well, well- That's an excellent point. However, knowing Tim, I'm sure it was just an innocent exchange bearing no real malice. [chuckles] As Freud so humorously pointed out, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
Jill: That is such a crock. As Carl Jung says: "if people can be educated to see the lowly side of their own natures, then they might also understand their fellow man or woman better."
Wilson: With due respect to Jung, I believe it was Bruno Bettelheim...
Jill: Oh, don't Bettelheim me. Tim was talking about me behind my back, and you know what Andrea Dworkin says about that.
Wilson: Well, actually, I don't.
Jill: She says that if women talk about people behind their backs, it's "gossip," but if men do it, it's "male bonding."
Wilson: You know, Jill, ever since you decided to go back to school, you've made things so very, very hard on me.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Something else I figured out we might do. I'm gonna take you to see those three tenors that you love on PBS. Paparazzi, Manicotti and Flamingo. [imitating opera singer]
Jill: Tim, you just named a photographer, a food and a hotel.
Tim: I don't care what they do, they sing great.
Jill: Well, that would be really nice, because... it's always been my fantasy to be with a man who enjoyed doing the same things I do. You know, like taking me to the opera, the ballet, the theater.
Tim: That's my fantasy too.
Jill: Really?
Tim: Mm-hm. If I could find that man, I wouldn't have to go myself.
Quote from Harry
Harry: How's it going?
Tim: Well, I'm numb. I just spent three of the most boring hours of my life at the library.
Eddie: Three hours?
Harry: You know, I think if you put together all the time I've ever spent in a library, it wouldn't come out to be three hours.
Tim: God, who would have guessed?