Tim Quote #1368
Quote from Tim in Let's Go to the Videotape
Tim: You know how men talk. You and your girlfriends do the same thing.
Jill: That is not true. I have never once said anything behind your back that I haven't said to your face.
Tim: That just proves I'm more sensitive than you.
Jill: Oh, how does it prove that?
Tim: If I have something to say about you, I have the courtesy to take it to a hardware store and say it in front of strangers.
Jill: That's insane.
Tim: It was a conversation you should've never heard.
Jill: It was a conversation that you never should have had.
Tim: It was a conversation you shouldn't have seen.
Jill: This conversation is over.
Tim: Well, that's good because I'm sick of saying the word "conversation."
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Let's Go to the Videotape’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: Well, Jill, the renowned psychiatrist lrvin D. Yalom postulated that men relieve their isolation by bonding over common fears and experiences.
Jill: Oh, please, Yalom was talking about universality as it applies to formal therapy, not a bunch of guys sitting around dumping on their wives.
Wilson: [momentarily speechless] Well, well, well- That's an excellent point. However, knowing Tim, I'm sure it was just an innocent exchange bearing no real malice. [chuckles] As Freud so humorously pointed out, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
Jill: That is such a crock. As Carl Jung says: "if people can be educated to see the lowly side of their own natures, then they might also understand their fellow man or woman better."
Wilson: With due respect to Jung, I believe it was Bruno Bettelheim...
Jill: Oh, don't Bettelheim me. Tim was talking about me behind my back, and you know what Andrea Dworkin says about that.
Wilson: Well, actually, I don't.
Jill: She says that if women talk about people behind their backs, it's "gossip," but if men do it, it's "male bonding."
Wilson: You know, Jill, ever since you decided to go back to school, you've made things so very, very hard on me.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Something else I figured out we might do. I'm gonna take you to see those three tenors that you love on PBS. Paparazzi, Manicotti and Flamingo. [imitating opera singer]
Jill: Tim, you just named a photographer, a food and a hotel.
Tim: I don't care what they do, they sing great.
Jill: Well, that would be really nice, because... it's always been my fantasy to be with a man who enjoyed doing the same things I do. You know, like taking me to the opera, the ballet, the theater.
Tim: That's my fantasy too.
Jill: Really?
Tim: Mm-hm. If I could find that man, I wouldn't have to go myself.
Quote from Harry
Harry: How's it going?
Tim: Well, I'm numb. I just spent three of the most boring hours of my life at the library.
Eddie: Three hours?
Harry: You know, I think if you put together all the time I've ever spent in a library, it wouldn't come out to be three hours.
Tim: God, who would have guessed?