Mark Quote #62
Quote from Mark in The Eyes Don't Have It
Jill: Oh, honey. I've been thinking. I shouldn't be putting pressure on you. You know, if you want to talk, I'm always here to listen, but if you don't, I'm fine with that too.
Mark: I want to talk.
Jill: Good. Sit down. Pour your little heart out.
Mark: I can't see the board at school. I think I need glasses.
Jill: Is that what's bothering you? That's not so bad.
Mark: It's bad to me.
Jill: Honey, lots of kids wear glasses.
Mark: You don't understand. Some of the kids already think I'm a dork. If I get glasses, all of them will.
Jill: Nobody thinks you're a dork.
Mark: Then why do they call me "dork"?
Home Improvement Quotes
‘The Eyes Don't Have It’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Mark: I don't want to look like a dork.
Wilson: Well, may I suggest an alternative solution that will help improve your eyesight? Here's a handy little trick I picked up from a Russian ophthalmologist I met at a caviar-tasting festival. Take a piece of paper and you make a tiny, tiny, tiny little hole, then you hold it up to your eye, and it will correct your myopia by allowing the eye to refocus light upon a mosaic of photosensitive receptors.
Mark: What?
Wilson: It'll help you see better.
Mark: Wow! It really works.
Wilson: Uh-huh. And if you use two, it's twice as effective.
Mark: This is great! I'll never have to wear glasses. And I won't look like a dork.
Brad: Mark, Mark, buddy. Just tell me one thing. [takes the pieces of paper and holds them to his eyes] What do I look like?
Mark: A dork.
Quote from Tim
Tim: He does well in school. Maybe the teacher doesn't like him.
Jill: Well, how could she not like him? Mark is adorable.
Tim: Oh, come on. In fourth grade I was adorable. My teacher hated me. Fifth grade teacher didn't like me. Sixth grade teacher really had something out for me. Seventh grade was a nightmare.
Jill: Tim, are you noticing a pattern here?
Tim: I had a string of bad teachers.
Quote from Tim
Al: There is no such thing as a gas-powered porcupine!
Tim: It all depends on what it had to eat. [laughs] Watch how beautifully this seams our lovely wheat-colored Berber. [Tim rips the carpet to shreds]
Al: Well, way to go, Tim. And what would you call that?
Tim: Shredded Wheat Berber.