Brad Quote #69
Jill: Hi, Brad.
Brad: Hey, Mom. What's this?
Jill: Oh. That's a college catalogue with watermelon seeds all over it. I'm checking out colleges.
Brad: Well, aren't I a little young?
Jill: It's for me.
Brad: Well, then, aren't you way old? [off Jill's look] I'm never gonna get my allowance back, am l?
Jill: It's not looking good.
Quote from Jill
Tim: Well, let me ask you a question. Have you ever wished that you'd married somebody as smart as you?
Jill: You think I'm smarter than you?
Jill: Well, that just shows how smart you are.
Tim: You didn't answer the question.
Jill: Do I ever wish that I married somebody else? Why would I wanna marry anybody else? You're funny, you're sexy, creative, you take chances, and you're definitely not afraid to be wrong. I'm perfectly happy being married to a man who thinks that PBS is something that women get once a month.
Tim: What I said was, "Once a month is enough for PBS." And way too much for the other thing.
Quote from Tim
Tim: Why don't you go to a trade school?
Jill: Trade school?
Tim: Six months, you can be a turret lathe operator.
Jill: I don't want to be a turret lathe operator. I don't even know what that is.
Tim: That's why you go to the school. How about a certified arc welder?
Jill: Are you insane?
Tim: Diesel bus repair.
Jill: Tim, I was really excited about this idea. I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you about it, and all you can do is throw out idiotic suggestions. Why don't you just tell me to go to clown college?
Tim: They'd never take you. You're not funny enough and your feet are too small.
Quote from The Route of All Evil
Randy: Hey, Brad. Mom and Dad want you to come down for dinner.
Brad: Tell them I'm not hungry. I'm trying to finish this paper and do my math homework at the same time.
Randy: "The Franco-Prussian War was fought in the year 1870 minus the square root of 113."
Brad: Oh, man. How could I have done that?
Quote from Mark's Big Break
Jill: Look, I know the video was bizarre. But isn't there something that you can do?
Tim: Sure. I could present it to the devil as an offering.
Jill: Couldn't you do some sort of special blooper show?
Brad: Mom, Dad already has one. It's called Tool Time.