Tim Quote #1192
Quote from Tim in Swing Time
Al: All right. Let's get to it. Les, since you are the challenger, you have the first choice of categories.
Les: I'll take "Epoxy Putties and Liquid Metals." [musical tone]
Al: Excellent choice. Heidi? Thank you, Heidi.
Heidi: You're welcome.
Al: "To repair a hydraulic ram, what type of epoxy putty would you use, and why?"
Les: I'd go with titanium, since it resists temperatures of 350° Fahrenheit and has a compression strength of 18,000 PSI. It also provides a nonrusting, machinable finish, and features excellent resistance to a broad range of chemicals.
Al: Hm, hm, hm, hm, hm.
Tim: It was an easy question, all right?
Al: All right, Tim. Your question. Heidi? Thank you. "In a nonrusting aluminum epoxy, what are the percentages of aluminum and epoxy?"
Tim: Easy. Everyone knows that. 70% aluminum, 30% epoxy.
Les: Actually, that's 80% aluminum and 20% epoxy.
Tim: 70%, 80%. What's the difference?
Al: One is right and one is wrong. All right. Round one goes to... [fanfare] Les!
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Swing Time’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Brad: Dad, here comes Mom!
Tim: No, no, no!
Jill: Hey, guys, it's really late. What are you doing out here?
Tim: We all have problems. We're waitin' for Wilson to wake up.
Quote from Jill
Mark: Here you go, Mom. Basil omelet. Happy Mother's Day.
Jill: Oh, that's so sweet of you, honey. Looks delicious.
Brad: And Mom, don't forget your basil butter with your toast.
Jill: Basil butter. Well, that's original.
Randy: If you think that's original, wait till you taste your fresh-squeezed basil juice.
Mark: We also made you coffee.
Jill: Is it green? [Mark nods]
Tim: And for dessert, fresh-baked basil cream pie.
Jill: I should've said I like diamonds.
Quote from Al
Pete: Anyway, Timmy, there's no one more qualified than Les, and no one knows more about tools than Les.
Tim: No one?
Al: You heard him, Tim.
Tim: Oh, yeah? Then why does everybody call me "The Tool Man"?
Les: Because it's your show and you made up the name?
Al: I like her.
Tim: I'd be willing to stake my tool reputation against anyone.
Les: Well, how about me?
Tim: [scoffs] Les. Leslie. I wouldn't want to embarrass you. Anybody who challenges me, it always ends up the same way.
Les: [laughs] You lose?
Al: I love her!