Wilson Quote #146
Quote from Wilson in Fifth Anniversary
Tim: You know, our fifth anniversary show is coming up. I wanna make a big deal, but Davidson doesn't want to pay for it. I want to make a big, spectacular gift to my audience, you know.
Wilson: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. You know, Tim, in ancient China, there was once an emperor, and every year on his birthday, everybody in the land would bring him a gift. And every year, the gifts became more and more elaborate.
Tim: I get your point.
Wilson: Well, that's very good, Tim, 'cause I haven't made one yet. Anyway, one year, a small boy appeared before the emperor and told him that he had no riches to give. The only gift that he had was a song. You know what the emperor did?
Tim: Got him booked on Dick Woo's Chinese Bandstand.
Wilson: You're not making this easy, Tim. Anyway, when the emperor heard this song, he was so moved that he proclaimed it the greatest gift of all, because it was a gift that came from the heart. Well, I must get back to the yogurt.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Fifth Anniversary’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Tim: Oh, and my neighbor's here up behind them. Wilson, say hi.
Wilson: Festum diem anniversarium tibi, Tim.
Tim: What?
Wilson: That means "Happy anniversary to you" in Latin. You see, Tim, the Ancient Romans...
Tim: No, no. Not now, Wilson, not now. We've got plenty of show to do here, buddy. There's a lot of ways we could celebrate our fifth anniversary. Could've gone to Indy and had some race drivers on. But Al and I decided to do something more from the heart, like the young Chinese boy that smelled his own yogurt. [Wilson shakes his head]
Quote from Al
Tim: We started the show with a very small budget. It was just two guys with a passion for tools.
Al: And one guy who knew how to use them.
Tim: Yeah.
Quote from Tim
Tim: So I went to Binford's headquarters, in the archives, and got our first episode, and I put together a little highlight tape. Ladies and gentlemen, the birth of the tool show.
[Tool Time flashback:]
Mrs. Binford: Does everybody know what time it is? [the few people in the audience are silent until Mrs. Binford points to her apron]
Audience: Tool Time.
Mrs. Binford: That's correct. Binford Tools is happy to present your host Tom Taylor. [plays theme]
Tim: [walks out with a beard] Uh, thank you, Mrs. Binford. It's Tim Taylor. [Mrs. Binford gives him a thumbs up] All right. Well, welcome, audience, to the premiere episode of Tool Time. It's a show that celebrates men and their tools. Before we get to our project today, I'd like to bring out an assistant that we hired for me. We auditioned contractors all through the Detroit area, a lot of professional men, and this is the guy that would work for the money we offered. [chuckles] So, let's bring him out. A contractor, a master plumber and a Pisces - Albert Borland. Come on out, Albert. [a beardless Al walks out] Good to have you here.
Al: Hi.
Tim: OK. It's nice to have you here.
Al: I'm Al Borland, and I'm pleased to make your acquaintance. I'm also very honored to be part of your tool education.
Tim: It's over here, though. You would look into this camera.