Mark Quote #57
Quote from Mark in The Colonel
Col. Patterson: So, I'm standing there in Korea right on the 38th parallel, when who taps me on the shoulder? General Douglas MacArthur.
Mark: Who?
Col. Patterson: Your father never told you about General MacArthur?
Mark: No, but he told me about General Motors.
Col. Patterson: Well, this guy was even bigger. [grabs an apple] So we're standing there, and what do you think he hands me?
Mark: An apple?
Col. Patterson: A grenade. You know how to throw one of these things, son? [Mark shakes his head] You grip it in your right hand, you pull the pin with your teeth and you let it fly.
Jill: No throwing grenades in the house, Mark.
Mark: How'd you know what it was?
Jill: You kidding? I grew up with fruit ammunition.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘The Colonel’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Col. Patterson: Where do you get off criticizing me in the first place? What do you know about the military?
Jill: You see, this is why I didn't wanna tell you. Because I knew that you would overreact. You always do. That's why nobody can ever tell anything.
Col. Patterson: What are you talking about?
Jill: When we were growing up, we weren't allowed to tell you anything that might upset you.
Col. Patterson: Oh, really? Then why the hell was I upset so much?!
Quote from Jill
Jill: Because I wasn't totally honest with you before. Daddy, this is really hard for me to say, but... the book is... is just really not very good.
Col. Patterson: Then why'd you say you loved it?
Jill: Because that's what you wanted to hear.
Col. Patterson: Don't tell me what I wanted to hear. I want to hear the truth!
Jill: Well, I'm telling it to you now.
Col. Patterson: Fine! You didn't like the book. I'm gonna get the boys. We'll be back at 1300 hours.
Tim: What time is that?
Col. Patterson: It's 1:00! Why is that so difficult for you to understand? Every private in the army gets it by the end of the first day!
Jill: Daddy, I'm really sorry that I upset you, but...
Col. Patterson: I'm not upset! If I were upset I'd be yelling!
Quote from Jill
Tim: Shouldn't your dad be here?
Jill: Well, you know the colonel. If he says he'll be here at 1700 hours, he means 1700 hours sharp.
Tim: 1700 hours. What time is that again?
Jill: 5:00. I've been trying to teach you military time for 15 years. Now, listen to this. You subtract 12 if it's a double-digit number greater than 12. If it's a single-digit number, it's the actual time. If it's a double-digit number that's less than or equal to 12, then that's also the actual time. Have you got that?
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: Hmm.
Tim: I wish your mom was coming. At least she speaks civilian.
Jill: Me too. She said she needed a break from Dad. She wants to have one week where she doesn't have to get up before dawn and raise the flag.