Jill Quote #388
Jill: Did you tell Al and Ilene to come for dinner at seven?
Tim: Yeah. They almost didn't come. Al's a little upset because apparently Ilene had a dream about me.
Jill: What'd she eat before she went to sleep?
Tim: Get this. She dreamed that I was riding a golden stallion, with a deep sexy voice and tight bicycle shorts.
Jill: Wow! She must have had a big bean burrito.
Tim: Really? You know, a lot of women watch Tool Time. Sooner or later, they are thinking, "I want him." [Jill laughs] Smirk if you will, but you're not the only woman who dreams about me.
Jill: I don't dream about you, Tim. It's bad enough I have to see you when I'm awake.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Dream On’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Tim: Al's girlfriend Ilene had a dream about me, so I made a joke about it, and she got upset and broke up with Al. Jill thinks it's all my fault.
Wilson: Well, Tim, humor can be a wonderful thing. The Koran says, "He deserves paradise who makes his companions laugh."
Tim: Yeah... Those Koreans know what's funny.
Wilson: On the other hand, Tim, Cervantes, the 16th-century novelist, said... "A jest that gives pain is no jest." In this case, you might have caused a little bit of pain.
Tim: Well, I certainly didn't mean to. Jokes are what I'm all about. That's why people like me.
Wilson: Well, maybe sometimes you go too far.
Quote from Al
Al: Well, last night, something very disturbing happened. Ilene... had a dream.
Tim: No. Not a dream. While she was sleeping? You know, scientists may want to study her.
Al: You don't understand. It was a very passionate dream. Clothes were strewn about.
Tim: Not strewn about!
Al: Yes, strewn. She was talking to this man who she said had a very deep voice. And they were... they were riding a golden stallion, and he was wearing bicycle shorts.
Tim: Get a grip, will you? It's a dream. Don't you dream about other women sometimes?
Al: No! My dreams are good, clean fun.
Tim: You're driving yourself crazy over a silly dream with some jerk in it.
Al: Well, it wasn't just some jerk, Tim. It was you.
Tim: Really?
Al: Oh, I shouldn't have told you that.
Quote from Brad
Brad: OK, Randy. It's your turn.
Randy: All right. I'll put an "M" on top of the "E," and then "L-O-N." That's "melon." Double word score - 14 points.
Brad: Pretty good. Watch this. After the "N," I'll add "O-L-O-G-Y." That's 16 points.
Randy: "Melonology"?
Brad: The study of melons.
Randy: There's no such word as "melonology."
Brad: Yeah, there is. Call the fruit section at the grocery store.
Randy: Well, who should I ask for, the melonologist?