Dwayne Quote #7

Quote from Dwayne in Arrivederci, Binford

Tim: I've always said you can tell a man by the shine of his shoes.
Dwayne: And by how clean his nails are.
Tim: You need a little work on those nails. That's why we've got this line of Binford hand-care products in attractive packaging. Environmentally sound.
Dwayne: I know they're dirty now, Tim, but sometimes on the job site, when you ain't got no water, you can't get your nails clean. So before I step out to the discos, I take a ten-penny nail, and I scrunch out all that filth and crud. Here, Marv, you wanna come in for a closeup?
Tim: No, let's not do that now. Out of respect for people who might be having a meal, we'll forgo that demonstration, but thanks so much for showing us that.
Dwayne: Okay, okay.
Tim: Anything else you guys got for us?
Pete: Well, Tim, probably the biggest grooming problem out on the construction site is... well, helmet hair. [The K&B guys take off their hats]
Tim: Oh, yeah, hat head. [to Dwayne] Not a real big problem on your end, is it? Why don't I just buff that up to a high gloss?


 ‘Arrivederci, Binford’ Quotes

Quote from Al

Tim: That brings us to the final segment here on Tool Time. You know, when men get done doing a real hard job, sometimes we don't look like we want to, right, Al?
Al: No, we don't, Tim.
Tim: I'm usually hot, greasy, sweaty...
Al: And bleeding.

Quote from Tim

Tim: Al has just cleaned this window with Binford's standard-size squeegee, perfect for daily jobs. For the big job, you might want to turn to Binford's mega squeegee. This can clean the windshield of a big rig in one stroke.
Al: And a storefront in under a minute.
Tim: And Al's mother's back in less than an hour. Now remember, if it doesn't say "Binford" on it, somebody else probably makes it.

 Dwayne Hoover Quotes

Quote from Flying Sauces

Dwayne: You know, I'm out on the job site, way out. Nowhere close to your ordinary kitchen utensils. So I got to improvise. Now, this here, is the dipstick off my '87 two-ton pickup. With this, I make my southern specialty. Shish-ke-billy-bob. Now, the important thing to remember, Tim, before you start cooking is to get all that oil off your dipstick. Now, I like to alternate my meat and my vegetables.
Tim: How do you feel about that, Al?
Al: Well, I'm still thinking about that dipstick, Tim.
Dwayne: I prefer to use USDA Choice cube steak. Pearl onions, green peppers. And just a touch of summer squash for color. No need to make mealtime a drab affair, huh, Tim?
Tim: Perish that thought, Dwayne.
Dwayne: Now, for the seasoning. I turn to my assistant, Pete.
Pete: That would be me. I like to lightly dust the kebab with... just a hint of sage and some tarragon.
Dwayne: Well, I prefer rosemary, but...
Tim: Dwayne, rosemary's much too harsh...
Dwayne: Pete, this is neither the time nor the place. Now, ordinarily, Tim, I would wrap this in tinfoil and put it on a hot engine. But we don't have time for all that. Here, hold that, Al, will you? Thank you. Now. Pete's got one... Pete's got one all cooked up and ready for us to taste.
Pete: There you go, Tim. Give that a whirl. Yeah. How do you like that?
Tim: This is delicious. I detect a hint of 10W-30 on that thing, though.

Quote from Bell Bottom Blues

Tim: Well, then, help me out, guys. How does one man show another man he just appreciates what he does?
Dwayne: Well, you buy him a couple Lions tickets.
Tim: Hey, all right.
Rock: Or let him borrow your truck.
Tim: Good one.
Pete: You could pour beer over his head.
Tim: Yeah, yeah!
Dwayne: And I did not appreciate that.