Jill Quote #316
Quote from Jill in A Sew, Sew Evening
Jill: [on the phone] Yeah, Jerry. Oh, you want us to see your vacation videos? Oh, that's too bad. We can't do it. No, no. Tim's working late. No, he's not here. I'm so sorry. Maybe some other time. OK, bye-bye. [hangs up]
Tim: Liar, liar, bra's on fire!
Jill: So you wanna go to over to Jerry and Sheila's, and watch them argue their way through Europe?
Tim: That's not the point. Why is it I can't lie about you and you can lie about me?
Jill: Because I'm better at it! Tim, if you're gonna lie about me, you have to use common sense. Wait. Hold on. We have to find another guideline.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘A Sew, Sew Evening’ Quotes
Quote from Wilson
Tim: Have you ever had a real annoying neighbor?
Wilson: Tim, is this a trick question?
Tim: No, I'm talking about that guy next door to me. He just moved in - Joe. He's already bugging me. [Tim bounces a ball against the fence]
Wilson: I know the feeling, Tim.
Tim: That guy is such a pain in the butt. Just being around him gives me a headache.
Wilson: Tim, you wouldn't happen to have an aspirin on you, would you?
Tim: What would you do?
Wilson: Well, what I would do, when I'm face-to face with an irksome individual, I always say look for the good in people.
Tim: Huh. And that works?
Wilson: Most of the time. And if it doesn't... [catches the ball] I take his ball away.
Quote from Tim
Tim: No way! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Home ec? You really gotta take shop. It's where you learn about tools, building things, tearing stuff down, and... [grunts]
Brad: Yeah, but home ec is me and 30 girls.
Tim: What do you wanna be around 30 girls for? Oh-ho-ho! I catch you. Before you go jumping in a room with 30 girls, you really should take shop.
Brad: Why?
Tim: Shop prepares you for women. You learn how to cut wood. How to sever a finger. You learn pain. Then you're ready for women.
Quote from Jill
Jill: All right, why don't we just sit down and discuss acceptable lies and non-acceptable lies.
Jill: OK, OK. I'll give you some, all right? Lie number one... "I can't go out tonight because my wife is accepting a Mother of the Year award."
Tim: OK.
Jill: All right, lie number two. "I can't go out tonight because my wife is finishing her third book."
Tim: Reading it or writing it?
Jill: Very funny!
Tim: All right, I'm getting the vibe here. "We can't go out tonight because my wife is braiding her back hair."
Jill: Not acceptable!
Tim: A little over the top?
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: All right. "I can't go out tonight because my wife will be hugging me and smothering me in romantic kisses."
Jill: Acceptable, but nauseating.