Tim Quote #783
Quote from Tim in Birth of a Hot Rod
Tim: Hi, welcome to Tool Time. Boy, this is one of our favorite weeks of the year. Right, Al?
Al: That's right, Tim. It's our annual Lawn Care Week, right here on Tool Time.
Tim: And, you know, you're judged by the lawn you keep. Guys, we want people driving by our house and going: "Hey. There's a nice lawn. A real man lives there." But the women don't seem to care. They just drop their ThighMasters and go: "Hey, get out there and cut the grass, will ya?" 'Cause women don't understand. We do not "cut the grass." We mow the lawn. We feed it, we pamper it, we nurture it.
Al: We caress it.
Tim: Al. [whistles] Al. It's a piece of sod. You're not on shore leave, fella.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Birth of a Hot Rod’ Quotes
Quote from Tim
Jill: I tell you what. I am going to fix the stove and I will fix the ice dispenser.
Tim: You are so cute.
Jill: What? You don't think I can do it?
Tim: No, I have a lot of faith. Lot of faith in a woman who uses tool terms like "whatchamacallit," "thingamajig" and my personal favorite, "doohickey."
Quote from Wilson
Jill: What is it with men, Wilson? You know, they'll spend hours on an engine, putting up a satellite dish, but they won't take five minutes and fix a simple little doorknob.
Wilson: Well, Jill, I find your question astute and sagacious.
Tim: Give it to her, Wilson.
Jill: That's a compliment, Tim.
Wilson: See, Jill, historically, men have been drawn to the jobs that bring them attention and glory, like discovering new lands or winning wars. Women, however, have been expected to work quietly and steadily to maintain the home.
Jill: But that's a long time ago, Wilson. I mean, times are changing. Women are working, men are staying at home, both are working. Roles are reversing.
Wilson: Trenchant and perspicacious.
Tim: Now, that can't possibly be a compliment.
Wilson: I'm afraid so, Tim.
Tim: Oh, you did it to me again.
Quote from Tim
Wilson: A wise man once said, "Every job has one thing in common. It has to be done and it has to be done well."
Jill: Well, that's kinda nice.
Tim: Who said that?
Wilson: You did.
Tim: [grunts] I used to be a pretty smart fella.