Wilson Quote #94

Quote from Wilson in Much Ado About Nana

Wilson: You see, Tim, once the baby girl comes out of the mother's womb, she spends the rest of her life trying to separate from her.
Tim: They are separate. They live in different states.
Wilson: No, no. No, Tim, I'm talking about emotional separation. You see, subconsciously, Jill may feel that if she doesn't want what her mother gives her, she's being disloyal to the person who gave her life.
Tim: What? Why do women get so confused about this stuff? I lived in a family of all boys. We were very clear about our communication. If I wanted something my brother had, I'd knock him down and take it.
Wilson: Well, that's very effective, but crude.
Tim: Right. You know, I think I could help these two ladies out. If I could just sit them down and tell them exactly what's going on.
Wilson: No, no, no, Tim. Throughout history, many truths have passed from man to man, and the one truth that transcends all cultures is: "When mother-in-law visits, man should stay in garage."
Tim: [grunts] Oh, yeah, I got a lot of work to do on the hot rod. Might as well just close the door and start her up. [grunts]

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 ‘Much Ado About Nana’ Quotes

Quote from Tim

Tim: You don't get Tool Time in Texas.
Lillian: We bought a satellite dish.
Tim: Oh.
Lillian: All the neighbors... All the neighbors come over to watch the show. Dad and I are real celebrities.
Tim: Hey, good.
Lillian: Yes. Of course, I tell everyone my son-in-law is Al.

Quote from Tim

Lillian: Those Nana jokes on Tool Time were the best motivation a fat person could have.
Tim: What jokes? I wouldn't make jokes about you on the air.
Lillian: Oh, you wouldn't, would you?
Tim: No.
Lillian: Well, does this sound familiar? What weighs 400lbs 2oz and sings in the shower? Nana holding a bar of soap.
Tim: That's funny, though.

 Wilson Wilson Quotes

Quote from Bye Bye Birdie

Tim: I want Brad to be a good student.
Wilson: Mm-hm.
Tim: So I told him that multiplying compound fractions is a real important part of that. But, you know, between you and me, it's kinda useless information.
Wilson: Well, I don't know about that, Tim. There was a time when I thought my extensive research into ancient tribal cultures, obscure scientific data, the thoughts of great philosophers, would never come in handy. Then you moved in.

Quote from Doctor in the House

Wilson: A Ph.D.?! Tim? Aw, Jill, Jill, Jill, Jill... Do you realize how many hours I had to study to get my doctorate in forgotten languages and extinct cultures? Oh, my, my, my. Sitting in that library, reading that insufferable microfilm till I thought I would practically go blind? Not to mention that to support myself, I had to volunteer as a subject for lab experiments. Oh, oh. And the thing that really irritates me about this whole thing...
Jill: Wilson!
Wilson: Oh, Jill, Jill, talk me down, talk me down.
Jill: I came out here so you'd talk me down.
Wilson: Oh, I'm sorry, Jill. I just lost control.