Jill Quote #256
Quote from Jill in Shooting Three to Make Tutu
Jill: OK. Let's try another story. Once upon a time there was a beautiful, lovely and talented queen who was married to an evil king, the King Selfish.
Tim: Mmm, I'm gonna like this guy.
Jill: Yeah, you would like this guy. He has a low-rated tool show where most of the work is done by his assistant, the Earl of Al. Anyway, our kind and sensitive and breathtakingly beautiful queen wanted a knight in shining armor to come and take the young princeling to the palace dance festival.
Tim: I hate ballet. I hate it. You go to the ballet, you burp, people are going, "Shh, quiet!" "Hiss! Shhh!"
Jill: Tim, I took those kids to the monster truck rally for you. Do you remember that?
Tim: Uh-huh. Ten to one, no one there went, "Hey, lady! Quiet! You're burping! I can't hear Fordzilla!" All right, all right, all right. I'll take him. I'll tape the game on ye old royal VCR.
Jill: Thank you. You are my favorite knight. And later on, I'll make sure you have your favorite night. [Tim grunts]
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Shooting Three to Make Tutu’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Tim: [theme music starts] Ah! There's the theme music. You know what time that means it is.
Al: Time to hear another word from Binford about some of their fine new products.
Tim: That's right. I'd like to introduce you to Binford's small line of industrial magnets.
Al: The MiniMag 100 is perfect for picking up screws and nails. It can also pick up small tools that have carelessly been dropped behind the workbench. Perhaps the fault of a coworker.
Quote from Randy
Randy: Are you gonna call before you come home?
Jill: Why are you asking me that?
Randy: No reason.
Jill: Yeah, right. I think that you should know that I could be home at any moment. Now, Wilson is gonna be next door the whole time if you need anything. And here are the emergency numbers right here.
Randy: We know. We know. We call them all the time for Dad.
Quote from Wilson
Wilson: How much ballet have you actually seen?
Tim: Well, counting the 30 minutes I saw today, about 36 minutes, lifetime total.
Wilson: Well, then I would have to say that your opinion is based on ignorance.
Tim: You just called me ignorant?
Wilson: Well, when it comes to ballet, I guess I did. Ignorance is a breeding ground for prejudice.
Tim: Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. You ask anybody. I'm not a prejudiced guy.
Wilson: Not against people. Perhaps against ideas, though. See, Tim. Anytime a man forms an opinion that's not based on facts, then he's a fool.
Tim: Oh, great, great, great. Now I'm an ignorant, prejudiced fool.
Wilson: Mm-hm.