Jill Quote #238
Quote from Jill in You're Driving Me Crazy, You're Driving Me Nuts
Jill: I couldn't believe it. The guy called the caterer and cancelled the dinner. The caterer broke it to Sheila in kind of a mean way, too. Walked over to the wedding cake and just ripped the groom right off the top.
Tim: Just left a shin and a knee bone there, huh?
Jill: Sheila told everybody to go home. You should've seen Aunt Merle trying to stuff all the jumbo shrimp in her purse before she left.
Tim: This was too big to fit in the purse?
Jill: She got the bottom three layers. When I left, Sheila was crying into her double bourbon, having to listen to that nephew of hers - you know, Todd - play "You Light Up My Life" on the accordion.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘You're Driving Me Crazy, You're Driving Me Nuts’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: Our wedding was so beautiful. I am so glad that I didn't let anybody talk me out of marrying you.
Tim: Who tried to talk you out of marrying me?
Jill: Oh, no one. You know, just... my mom, my dad, my sisters, my friends. The minister. The postman. Some guy down at the mailbox. You know. Oh, and Sheila.
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: Who said to me, "Don't marry him. I know a loser when I see one."
Tim: Good thing she was wrong.
Jill: Who said she was wrong? [Tim smushes cake in Jill's face]
Quote from Wilson
Tim: [grunts] I should have just done what she said. You know, got directions and forget my stupid instincts.
Wilson: Oh, Tim. Don't sell your stupid instincts short. Do you realize that people have a tiny compass in their nose?
Tim: I was never aware of that, no.
Wilson: Yes, it's true. People have a tiny iron deposit in their nose. It's right up here, [nasally] near the ethmoid bone. [normally] And that gives them directions to magnetic north, and since men have more iron in their bodies than women, it only follows that they would make a better compass.
Tim: [nasally] If I have such good instincts, how come I couldn't find the wedding?
Wilson: Pardon me, Tim?
Tim: [normally] If I have such good instincts, how come I couldn't find the wedding?
Wilson: Well, Tim, a map is a little more accurate than your nose. Plus, it's a heck of a lot easier to fold.
Quote from Tim
Jill: I can't take any chances. I have to be there a couple of hours early.
Tim: I think you're forgetting who has the radar-like sense of direction around here.
Jill: Tim?
Tim: Yeah?
Jill: Car is out front.
Tim: Well, the radar doesn't really kick in till you get in the car.