Tim Quote #652
Quote from Tim in You're Driving Me Crazy, You're Driving Me Nuts
Al: If you'd like plans for our entertainment center, write to us, Tool Time, and ask for Tool Time plan A340.
Tim: But A340 won't include the little adjustment I made.
Al: And what little adjustment would that be, Tim?
Tim: I installed a little swing-out drawer for the VCR.
Al: Well, plan A340 does not require a pull-out drawer and will not be in the blueprints.
Tim: Al, Al, Al. Let's not get hung up on blueprints, shall we, Al?
Let's think about the many things in life that have been built just on the old noggin, using the imagination. Like the Seven Wonders of the World.
Al: I believe the Sphinx required extensive blueprints, Tim.
Tim: Al, Al, Al. I'm talking about the seven wonders of the manly world. Wing nuts. Oh, ho, ho. The athletic cup. Ha-ha-ha-ha! Gatorade.
Al: You're comparing Gatorade to the Sphinx?
Tim: Has the Sphinx ever replaced your electrolytes? I don't think so, Al.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘You're Driving Me Crazy, You're Driving Me Nuts’ Quotes
Quote from Jill
Jill: Our wedding was so beautiful. I am so glad that I didn't let anybody talk me out of marrying you.
Tim: Who tried to talk you out of marrying me?
Jill: Oh, no one. You know, just... my mom, my dad, my sisters, my friends. The minister. The postman. Some guy down at the mailbox. You know. Oh, and Sheila.
Tim: Yeah.
Jill: Who said to me, "Don't marry him. I know a loser when I see one."
Tim: Good thing she was wrong.
Jill: Who said she was wrong? [Tim smushes cake in Jill's face]
Quote from Wilson
Tim: [grunts] I should have just done what she said. You know, got directions and forget my stupid instincts.
Wilson: Oh, Tim. Don't sell your stupid instincts short. Do you realize that people have a tiny compass in their nose?
Tim: I was never aware of that, no.
Wilson: Yes, it's true. People have a tiny iron deposit in their nose. It's right up here, [nasally] near the ethmoid bone. [normally] And that gives them directions to magnetic north, and since men have more iron in their bodies than women, it only follows that they would make a better compass.
Tim: [nasally] If I have such good instincts, how come I couldn't find the wedding?
Wilson: Pardon me, Tim?
Tim: [normally] If I have such good instincts, how come I couldn't find the wedding?
Wilson: Well, Tim, a map is a little more accurate than your nose. Plus, it's a heck of a lot easier to fold.
Quote from Tim
Jill: I can't take any chances. I have to be there a couple of hours early.
Tim: I think you're forgetting who has the radar-like sense of direction around here.
Jill: Tim?
Tim: Yeah?
Jill: Car is out front.
Tim: Well, the radar doesn't really kick in till you get in the car.