Tim Quote #647
Quote from Tim in Dances with Tools
Wilson: Problem, Tim?
Tim: The problem is I can't dance.
Wilson: I won't ask you.
Tim: I got Jill kinda angry with me 'cause I was goofing around at this dance class we took.
Wilson: Well, Tim, oftentimes we mock that which we cannot do.
Tim: I can't cha-cha. I was trying to figure out where to put my hands and my feet and line everything up. And the next thing I know, the instructor slides under a piano and her jaw is wired shut.
Wilson: I don't know that step.
Tim: She didn't either. [chuckles] Whoa.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Dances with Tools’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Jerry Holborne: We award this certificate to Tim Taylor for his efforts to promote safety at home and on the job.
Al: You're getting an award for safety?
Tim: Yeah, I am, flannel boy. You got a problem with that?
Al: Well, I guess they didn't see the show where you fell through the roof of the project house.
Tim: Maybe they didn't, Al.
Al: Or the time you glued your head to the table.
Tim: Al!
Al: Or the time when you stapled the...
Tim: Jerry... Jerry, continue.
Jerry Holborne: Your clever staging of realistic-looking accidents clearly shows viewers what not to do. We salute you.
Quote from Jill
Andy: Hey, tool man. I love your show. [grunts]
Tim: [grunts] Oh, yeah.
Andy: You must be Mrs. Arr-arr.
Jill: Well, actually, Arr-arr-arr is my married name. My maiden name was... [high-pitched barking]
Quote from Tim
Randy: Want us to tell you what Mom got you?
Tim: [loudly] No, I don't want you to tell me what Mom got me. The surprise is half the fun. [quietly after Jill goes upstairs] I want to know and I want to know right now.
Randy: Oh, well, you know, I don't want to ruin the surprise.
Tim: Mark, two bucks?
Mark: Broom closet. Top shelf.
Tim: All right.
Randy: Hey, I didn't know there were gonna be bribes involved.
Tim: Where have you been living the last ten years?