Tim Quote #646
Quote from Tim in Dances with Tools
Tim: All right, before we get to our next project, we have a special guest. Jerry Holborne's here from the Village Association to give me a certificate of appreciation.
Al: You?
Tim: Is there an echo in here? Yes, me. Let's bring Jerry out here with a big Tool Time welcome. Jerry Holbornet, everybody.
Jerry Holborne: It's good to see you, Tim. You know, I've never been on TV before.
Tim: Oh, anybody can do it.
Al: You should know.
Jerry Holborne: Well, Tim, on behalf of the Detroit Area Homebuilders Association, I would like to present you with this beautiful scroll.
Tim: Now, Al's name's on there, right?
Jerry Holborne: No, it's not.
Tim: Oh. It's too bad, huh?
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Dances with Tools’ Quotes
Quote from Al
Jerry Holborne: We award this certificate to Tim Taylor for his efforts to promote safety at home and on the job.
Al: You're getting an award for safety?
Tim: Yeah, I am, flannel boy. You got a problem with that?
Al: Well, I guess they didn't see the show where you fell through the roof of the project house.
Tim: Maybe they didn't, Al.
Al: Or the time you glued your head to the table.
Tim: Al!
Al: Or the time when you stapled the...
Tim: Jerry... Jerry, continue.
Jerry Holborne: Your clever staging of realistic-looking accidents clearly shows viewers what not to do. We salute you.
Quote from Jill
Andy: Hey, tool man. I love your show. [grunts]
Tim: [grunts] Oh, yeah.
Andy: You must be Mrs. Arr-arr.
Jill: Well, actually, Arr-arr-arr is my married name. My maiden name was... [high-pitched barking]
Quote from Tim
Randy: Want us to tell you what Mom got you?
Tim: [loudly] No, I don't want you to tell me what Mom got me. The surprise is half the fun. [quietly after Jill goes upstairs] I want to know and I want to know right now.
Randy: Oh, well, you know, I don't want to ruin the surprise.
Tim: Mark, two bucks?
Mark: Broom closet. Top shelf.
Tim: All right.
Randy: Hey, I didn't know there were gonna be bribes involved.
Tim: Where have you been living the last ten years?