Tim Quote #625

Quote from Tim in Love is a Many Splintered Thing

Brad: Mom, this is yours.
Randy: Dad, this one's yours.
Tim: It is, huh? Does this have anything to do with me putting Tabasco sauce in your ice cream?
Randy: Of course not, Father. I enjoyed that prank.
Tim: [chuckles] Yeah, so did I. It was cool. Oh, boy. Oh, Mrs. Boucher's dog. Get outta the yard! [Tim swaps the plates] Come on, get outta there, you stupid dog! Go on now!
Jill: There isn't any dog out there.
Tim: Oh. Oh, he slipped right through the bushes there. Well, let's dig in.
Brad: Mom. Allow me. [removes the cover to reveal scrambled eggs and bacon] Go on, honey.
Jill: They're delicious.
Tim: They are?
Jill: They're really good.
Tim: Cool.
Jill: You should try it.
Randy: Yeah, Dad. Dig in.
[When Randy pulls the cover off Tim's plate, rubber snakes pop out in his face. Tim chases after the boys.]


 ‘Love is a Many Splintered Thing’ Quotes

Quote from Wilson

Tim: Jill's taken this stupid test. It says we're not compatible. I know we love each other. I just wonder how we stay together if we're so different.
Wilson: Well, Tim, much of it has to do with the unity of opposites. The yin and the yang.
Tim: Those two pandas at the Washington Zoo?
Wilson: Oh, no, Tim. That would be Ling Ling and Hsing Hsing.
Tim: Oh, Hsing Hsing...
Wilson: Yes. What I'm talking about is the paradox of a relationship. And a paradox is not necessarily a bad thing.
Tim: A paradox is not necessarily a bad thing.
Wilson: There you go, neighbor. A paradox creates tension, and tension is energy, and energy is a force and we all live in this force, and that's the excitement of life and love. Are you with me, Tim?
Tim: You're saying a paradox is not necessarily a bad thing.

Quote from Jill

Tim: "If your husband was something you'd find in the kitchen, what would he be?" Oh, that's deep. Oh, yeah, that's deep.
Jill: I think you'll find this very insightful, Tim.
Tim: "A. An oven. Warm and self-cleaning." Not me. "B. Garbage disposal. Grating and eats anything." "C. A refrigerator. Very cold and the light's never on." These are stupid.
Jill: Well, come on. You haven't read the one that I picked for you. Read D.
Tim: "D. A teakettle. Hot and steamy, done in two minutes." Like I'm a teakettle.
Jill: Well, honey, you do whistle when you're done.

 Tim Taylor Quotes

Quote from At Sea

Tim: I wanna talk about you and Angela.
Brad: Dad, there's nothing to talk about.
Tim: I want to talk about sex for a minute.
Brad: Dad, I don't want...
Tim: I want you to listen to me, please. Listen up. Sex is, um... It's like a car. The best idea is to keep the car in the garage for a long, long, long time. And then, somewhere in the future, the distant future, when that garage door opens... you gotta think, "car cover".

Quote from Her Cheatin' Mind

Chris: So the only character you liked was the handyman?
Tim: No. I think the hero of this fine novel would have to be the husband. [all laugh]
Chris: He was the quintessential dullard.
Tim: Well, dullard or mallard, I don't care. She was married and only her husband should be allowed near Madame's ovaries.