Wilson Quote #68
Quote from Wilson in I'm Scheming of a White Christmas
Wilson: Hi-ho-ho-ho, good neighbors.
Jill: Merry Christmas, Wilson.
Wilson: Jill, I wanna thank you for that very lovely Smokey Farms gift box.
Jill: Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that those little cheese logs were actual size.
Wilson: Well, don't be sorry. They went perfectly with the little bottle of rum I got from the airlines. And this is for you, good neighbors. Fresh from the oven.
Jill: Oh, thank you. What is it?
Wilson: That is a plum cake. On Christmas Eve, the people of Hertfordshire, England, take the cake, stick it on a cow's horn, then they throw cider in her face.
Tim: The malls close early over there.
Wilson: No, no, no, Tim. If the cow flips the cake forward, it means it's going to be a very good harvest.
Features in the collection: Christmas Quotes.
Home Improvement Quotes
‘Christmas Quotes’
Quote from Mark in Yule Better Watch Out
Jill: Actually, honey. I think that those guys at the mall are Santa's helpers, you know. The way that AI is Daddy's helper.
Tim: Right.
Mark: So they do all the work.
Jill: Yeah.
Tim: They assist Santa. Like AI assists me.
Mark: Oh, that makes sense.
Quote from Randy in Yule Better Watch Out
Randy: OK, fine. Here's the truth. There used to be a Santa Claus. But he died six years ago.
Brad: Yep, you just missed out.
Mark: Santa Claus isn't dead.
Randy: Yes, he is. He had a terrible accident with one of his reindeer. Blitzen fell on him.
Mark: He's really dead?
Brad: Kicked the bucket.
Randy: Bought the dirt farm.
Brad: Six feet under.
Randy: Pushing up the daisies.
Brad: Deader than a doornail.
Randy: Stiff as a board.
Brad: Cold as ice.
Randy: Met his maker.
‘I'm Scheming of a White Christmas’ Quotes
Quote from Brad
Jill: You just don't get it, do you? That money was supposed to go to the Oak Lane Children's Center. You stole money out of the hands of kids who have next to nothing for Christmas.
Brad: We weren't gonna take all of it, just some of it.
Jill: Some of it or all of it, it was still stealing.
Brad: We'll do extra chores to work off the money.
Tim: You're darn right you'll do extra chores to work off the money. Then you can go back to the stores, take this stuff back and get the money for it.
Jill: And then you're gonna go back to the shelter, you're gonna take in the money, and you're gonna tell them that you stole it.
Brad: But, Mom, they're gonna think we're thieves.
Randy: Good, Brad.
Quote from Randy
Randy: This is more money than we've ever had on our bed before.
Brad: Yeah. If the money was ours, we could buy 30 Rooster Man comic books.
Randy: Yeah, and we could get Barbarian 2 for Game Boy.
Brad: Yeah. Too bad you don't get paid collecting for charity.
Randy: If we were working at regular jobs, we'd get paid salary. How much do you think Dad makes?
Brad: I don't know. Three bucks an hour.
Randy: Yeah. And Al does most of the work.
Quote from Brad
Randy: We made 90 bucks.
Brad: If we made 90 bucks a day, and we worked for seven days, we'd make, like, 200 bucks!
Randy: Brad, your math tutor must be proud.